This blog started as a way to turn my ex-wife’s egregious non-cooperation into a learning platform for me. By trying to put the bad stuff into the good pocket, I have strived to find the good in the bad. I believe my life was transformed just by starting this blog. By focusing on the positive whenever I could, on a wide range of divorce and parenting subjects.
I am a single dad. My views are my own and reflect no claim of mastery or expertise. I have been putting it on the page for each of the twelve years since my divorce. A friend, yesterday, said, “You should just get over it. Move on.” What he did not understand is how this writing transformed my entire life. From healing myself to attempting to heal and maintain my relationship with my two kids. This is an ongoing process. Very little of my writing is about divorce or anger these days. I seem to be writing mainly about my two favorite subjects: Mindfulness and Relationship-Building. But this journey started with the survival of the worst blow I’d ever taken to my plans, my personal livelihood, and my journey as a man, a father, and a future partner.
Here’s the curated version of my divorce recovery story. This BEST OF list will take you through my journey in a hierarchy of sorts. From Survival to Management to Thriving.
- A Return to Wholeness After Divorce (post number one of this blog – September 2013 – three years after my divorce)
- Moving from Parenting To Co-parenting: Joining Together In Divorce
- Experience, Strength, and Hope After a Divorce with Kids
Kids and Divorce
- Co-parenting Is Not Always Easy, But We Have a Choice
- The Transformation of Parenting in Marriage and Divorce
- My Single Parent Slogan: Every Day At a Time
- What A Single Dad Wants In the *Next* Relationship
- The 6-Step Relationship Strategy
- Why Online Dating is a Distraction and Not a Solution
- Looking to Get a Little Higher: Seeking Elevation & Immortality
- In This Moment You Choose: Happy or Resentful
- Resilience, Self-Care, the Mindset of Joy in This Moment
Relationship to Myself
- Finding Myself and My Body, Again
- My Hierarchy of Needs Revisited: The Short List of Happiness
- Low Power Mode: Managing Depression and Energy
Finding a Healthy Partner
- Sexual Fulfillment: I Don’t Know The Answer, Let’s Find Out Together
- Unadulterated Love: The 9 Rules of Joyful Sex
- Becoming the Beloved
Learning To Grow Together
- The Language of Love: Speaking the Truth with Kindness
- The Four Laws of Love: Finding & Building Lasting Relationships
- How to Love Someone Who Is Struggling: Relationship Building Skills
The Patience of Love
- She Can’t Contain My Sadness: She Can’t Contain My Happiness Either
- Alignment in Time and Space: Finding and Refinding Your Partner
- Mind the Gap: Listening for the Signals from Your Lover
My goal here was to give you a shortlist of articles to introduce you to my ideas, my 12-year journey to learn to love myself, and then someone else as much as I once loved the woman who became the mother of my children. Even after all this time, I am still pained by the damage of the divorce. I am dedicating part of my life to making things better for kids of divorce. If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
Your kids want to see you happy. They want to see your former spouse happy. Don’t make them choose sides.
John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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How I Can Help
I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call.
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- Self-Care and Appreciation: Can I Love All of Myself Right Now?
- 3 Required Traits for Building a Lasting Relationship
- Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success
- Pausing in the Gap: Trying to Force An Answer Is Not the Way
- 7 Habits of a Sizzling Sex Life: Relationship Building
- The 3-point Formula for Loving Relationships: Where You Lead I Follow
- Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
- Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
- A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children