If the chemistry is on and flowing both ways, you will both be asking "What's next." If it's not mutual, move on. You will not be able to build a fire without initial sparks. (But don't overlook the slow-burn. If you're "sort of" interested, perhaps a second date is in order.)
At this moment, I am winning. And, I can say with confidence, you will both survive and thrive as I have. Divorce is a major disaster, but it can also be the life-changing event that sets you free to be happier than you could've imagined.
Today, I am accepting love on all levels. I am also attempting to hold another person's best interest above my own agenda or expectations. It's not easy, but this, I believe, is the magic trick of building a long-term loving relationship. The mom-kiss is a wonderful tool for breaking down some of our fears and barriers.
We may not be able to do a hard left turn and stop some obsessive or destructive behavior just by declaring our new healthy path. BUT, we can get curious every time we find we're leaning towards the Frappucinos in our life.
I must be seeking the spotlight. In many ways this blogging thing, even blogging about sensitive and personal things, has become a natural expression of my life. Should I stop writing about dating because I am not dating? Will I be disappointed when the world does not embrace my new band and album of material? Am I seeking fame just to see if I can fill up some empty part of myself?
If you are going to love deeply, you become more susceptible to fear. The more we come to depend on the reciprocal affection of another person the more put ourselves at risk of a painful loss should the relationship not work out. Even in our everyday relationships, caring deeply about someone comes with risks.
Other than the feelings of sadness and loss, the job actually has very little impact on my livelihood or future plans. And, when this news was softly delivered by a "less than awesome young manager" I understood this as the universe giving me the nudge out of the temporary holding pattern that this job actually represented. Still, I'm a little scared.
I have approached dating as a process to identify, qualify, and ultimately partner with a single woman. The dating part is essential, but dating is not the goal. Sex is essential, but sex, also, is not the goal. Working to identify and explore a combination of these three factors, is how I am navigating my approach to finding my next long-term relationship.
