This is my story, from the joy and spiritual awakening of becoming a sad dad at the moment I became a divorced dad. My journey was not easy. I stumbled, I fell, and I wrestled my way back from a dark depressive episode and into a whole parent.
Start with what gets you most jazzed in your life. Find another person who enjoys the same thing. Engage in that activity with this "friend" and see if you are both drawn towards the idea of dating.
I am lovable just as I am. I am lovable with brown hair or grey hair. I am loved at my current weight and even when I'm heavier. I am loved just as I am. I am not sure I believe all of what I just wrote, but I'm on my own journey to get there.
There are plenty of times when it's difficult not being with my kids. But what I can give them is 110% dad when they are with me. I have the rest of the time, when they are not with me, to heal and focus on myself and my goals.
Let's both decide where to go in our future. Let's both listen to what the other person wants, rather than assuming we know. And let's get away from the swiping frenzy and into the process of building a lasting relationship. Swiping is not the enemy, but don't forget your long-term goals.
My ex-wife knows I am paying and will continue to pay my child support until my daughter turns 18. She wants to keep me under the thumb of the "enforcement" of Title IV-D because hurting me gives her pleasure.
Keep sex out of the game until you are sure you want to give this relationship a long-term shot. Sex clouds everything. Sex blinds us to the red flags that could be burning right before our eyes. When the sex hormones kick in we are no longer capable of making rational decisions.
I loved the family routine. I loved being their dad. I knew I was going to crash when I was no longer welcome in my own home. I knew depression was weeks away. I knew there was very little I could do to stop the sadness freight train that is divorce.