Loving You Every Day of Your Life: A Father’s Journey Thru Divorce
If you don't do the work, you may remain stuck in the past. You may wrestle with the depression and demons of your parent's transgressions and lack of support.
Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
If you don't do the work, you may remain stuck in the past. You may wrestle with the depression and demons of your parent's transgressions and lack of support.
It's not about the science of parenting and divorce. It's not "in the best interest of the children." It's about MONEY.
If you navigate a positive divorce, perhaps it will be happier and better for everyone. Plan for happiness and build a parenting schedule that will value BOTH mom and dad equally.
I believe if you parented together you should continue that loving and inclusive process even if you're no longer married to one another.
Marriage and parenting start at 50/50. Divorce should start at 50/50 without child support, and negotiate from there.
Listen to your body. If you are feeling sad, check in with someone else. If you notice your overall vibe heading towards the black hole, take all necessary evasive actions.
Attachment parenting is the way to go. One parent, weaponizing the divorce, can do untold damage to the kids.Â
It's hard to let them go. It's hard not to complain about their lack of response. But, the way forward is love and enthusiasm without strings.