As I learn more about my personal investment in threads, and my reluctance to let go of an elevated connection, I am better able to manage my own interactions, my own energy, and my own decisive disconnection of a golden thread.
Anger is energy. Learn to deal with it and channel it towards something you want. Any anger directed back at your ex is anger that will return to you ten-fold when you are in dire need of support. So a prayer. Our kids are a gift. My ex is blameless in her journey forward, and it is in my best interest to support her and the kids with everything I've got.
She got the house, the kids, and the money. She played nice for about a year and a half. Then she got greedy. She didn't like my new prosperity and happiness.
My actions and words are all I can control. My goal is to always do my best. And give everyone around me their own agency to make plans, change plans, and find their own way forward.
Then my divorce happened. I went from fat and happy to fat and homeless in a matter of months. My writing ignited.
In middle school my daughter would often call me during the school day saying she could not reach her mom, or get a call back, for something required for a field trip. I would make the call.
I can take a break from her blasting texts. I can hold my boundary. I will try again tomorrow. That's usually my mantra.
The rest is negotiation, navigation, and nurture. We've both got work ahead of us. We are always in a state of becoming. But today, I have my lifetime cheerleader beside me. And I'm always ready joyfully embrace her in all of her flaws and misdirections. We've all got them.