As my divorce went down, in Texas, in 2010, my ex-wife got the typical family law package. The call it the SPO or standard possession order, and it specifies the…
Some days it is good to just stop and say "thank you" to your higher power, your family, your partner. Today is that day. I'm marking a high-point in my life.
While my co-parenting efforts have been shunned by my ex-wife, I have never failed to ask to be included in all parenting decisions. It's in our parenting plan, the one we both signed when we agreed to our divorce documents. Even when my co-parent refuses to co-parent, I can be a great co-parent. My kids deserve it. My ex is frustrated by it. And I am at peace with it.
When working through the details of our parenting plan, she played the "family law" trump card and let me know I would not be getting 50/50 parenting, because if she went to court she knew she would win exactly what she wanted.
I often pontificate that my ex-wife is angry because she didn't get the happiness she imagined by moving her cheese from one man to a different man. She got everything she wanted in the divorce: the house, the child support payment + insurance for the kids, and the 70/30 parenting schedule, and still she's not happy.
Hold yourself in the highest regard. When you try these affirmations, listen to what comes back from your own thoughts. If there are contradictions, be gentle with them. Be gentle with yourself.
Equal parenting is how we started this whole "kids" thing. Don't you think equal parenting is how we should finish it?
We need our dads to show up for us, as well as our moms. And when the dad is removed from a family, with the SPO, the balance is shifted dramatically in favor of the "mom as the emotional center" of everyone's lives.