If you don't do the work, you may remain stuck in the past. You may wrestle with the depression and demons of your parent's transgressions and lack of support.
If you navigate a positive divorce, perhaps it will be happier and better for everyone. Plan for happiness and build a parenting schedule that will value BOTH mom and dad equally.
I believe if you parented together you should continue that loving and inclusive process even if you're no longer married to one another.
Attachment parenting is the way to go. One parent, weaponizing the divorce, can do untold damage to the kids.
I am here. I am your dad. And I love you just as much now as I did the moment I helped you out of your mom's body. The best of our lives together is ahead of us.
I am still striving to find my patient and positive self. I work on my mindfulness, my affirmations, and my clear communication with my colleagues and family.
Dads give their kids different qualities. Dads play differently. Dads love differently. But the assumption that the mom is the emotional center of the family and the dad is the financial engine is outdated and unfair to both the kids and the dad.
My kids would've gotten a better version of me. We would've stayed a bit closer as a family, even after I left, because the bills would all be split. And my house would've been just as comfortable as mom's house.