Addicted to Big Feelings: Triggering Ourselves
I don't want to be an exhausted artist any more than I want to be a starving artist. Both are contraindications to happiness.
I don't want to be an exhausted artist any more than I want to be a starving artist. Both are contraindications to happiness.
I'm happy. I'm proud. And I'm grateful for the divorce, 13 years ago, that allowed me to grow into the dad I am now.
Maybe we would feel something. Perhaps we would experience regret, joy, sadness, and other deep feelings. It's okay not to want to dip back into it.
Now that they are mostly out of their mom's house they have a bit more autonomy of thought. And when she throws a shitty bomb in between us, we can usually identify the *bs* and choose to not bite.
When divorce is amicable there's a chance for equal parenting. When a divorce starts with Dads getting 30% of the time and 100% of the expenses there is little incentive for moms to be fair.
If you navigate a positive divorce, perhaps it will be happier and better for everyone. Plan for happiness and build a parenting schedule that will value BOTH mom and dad equally.
I believe if you parented together you should continue that loving and inclusive process even if you're no longer married to one another.
I have a reverence of my moods these days. I am no longer beholden to them. I can love these former lovers and still do nothing to reach out to them. I am pointed in a healthier and happier dream now.