For the last years of his life, my buddy will do whatever he does as an old dog. I will watch him zigzagging around the back yard and try to remain happy for him rather than sad for him. I will love on him as much as I can. And I'll be aware of how my emotional attachments and complaints are mine alone. He's a dog.
Make things a little bit easier, by being kind and considerate to the other parent in your kids' lives. Love your kids enough to leave your ex in peace.
If you don't do the work, you may remain stuck in the past. You may wrestle with the depression and demons of your parent's transgressions and lack of support.
I believe if you parented together you should continue that loving and inclusive process even if you're no longer married to one another.
Attachment parenting is the way to go. One parent, weaponizing the divorce, can do untold damage to the kids.
I have a reverence of my moods these days. I am no longer beholden to them. I can love these former lovers and still do nothing to reach out to them. I am pointed in a healthier and happier dream now.
I have shown my children how to recover from a loss, and become happier, and more intentional in their lives.
Well, if I’m imagining this next relationship is the LAST ONE, well, that too has its own kind of pressure, that perhaps is just as debilitating as the rushing of the process.