I believe if you parented together you should continue that loving and inclusive process even if you're no longer married to one another.
I have a reverence of my moods these days. I am no longer beholden to them. I can love these former lovers and still do nothing to reach out to them. I am pointed in a healthier and happier dream now.
When someone is really available they have time, they make time, and they bring their own ideas to the party of planning our journey together.
My kids would've gotten a better version of me. We would've stayed a bit closer as a family, even after I left, because the bills would all be split. And my house would've been just as comfortable as mom's house.
Boundaries are constantly changing between you and your commitments. And people with unhealthy, or unarticulated (unknown or misunderstood) boundaries are more at risk of losing their daily momentum to the will and requests of everyone around them.
Sure, I believe my ex wants our kids to be healthy and happy. And somewhere she got in her mind that being the PRIMARY PARENT after the divorce was *in the best interest of the children.*
When I have done something to disappoint you I will be sad and sorry myself, but it's likely that the opportunity for healing is just below the surface of my triggering action.
If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.