I am still in love with my kids and even the woman who brought them. It's evolved into something very different than I planned. And even as I hope for a co-pilot again, there will never be an astronaut who turned herself so completely inside and out to be a family together.
If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.
You can't have kids by yourself. Your partner is just as important. Why would it be different when you no longer live together?
Here's the truth: I can't make you happier. I can't give you energy at the end of your work week or workday. I can't feel sensual when the feedback from you is "tired, overwhelmed, frustrated."
She got the house, the kids, and the money. She played nice for about a year and a half. Then she got greedy. She didn't like my new prosperity and happiness.
As we move forward as "this half" of the family, I am certain that my best time with my kids is ahead of me. And that's all the good news you need to hear today. Keep going.
My actions and words are all I can control. My goal is to always do my best. And give everyone around me their own agency to make plans, change plans, and find their own way forward.
I was lead to believe that the kids needed their mom more than me, that a mom's love is somehow superior, or more comforting than a dad's love.