If you work on your relationship by sharing what's good and bad and making critical adjustments, you're on your way towards building a lasting relationship. If you or your partner begin looking for emotionally intimate connections with people outside the relationship you need to look at what the problems and opportunities are.
I am learning to ask. I am learning to fall completely head-over-heels in love. Perhaps my choices have not all worked out, but they have all involved 100% effort on my part. And my love has soared to higher highs than I knew possible.
When you are involved in something vigorous, your attention and judgment are often heightened. You are more likely to get a true read on a partner while you are playing tennis, for example.
As we become clearer in our boundaries, in what is good for us and what is not good for us, we can make choices more easily. When something doesn't feel good, we're able to say, "NO. This will not work for me."
Let's evaluate each potential partnership in terms of emotional maturity and availability. Let's do better each time we start a relationship of loving ourselves in a way that says, "I'm the catch."
You've got to keep going. Your partner is out there. You've got to stay true to your path, true to your goals and boundaries, and give each person the flexibility to show up in your life and be a YES.
Finding and keeping love is about going to the well every single time. And when you find fire pouring accelerant on it by really, fully, and truly, asking for what you want. You must go for it to get it.
What if I knew what I wanted and was unafraid to ask? How would that change my star map of seeking?