It's hard when you're on the receiving end of someone else's trigger. But we can get better at identifying our own triggers and triggered moments. And there are ways to help our partners notice when the rage or sadness that is coming out of them, might be a bit bigger or deeper than the infraction that caused the initial pain.
If we can rise above our present distress and the distractions of our disappointments, we can appreciate all the layers of the present moment. It's all cake. It may not all be delicious. But our attitude about the cake colors every one of our present moments. It's our attitude about the cake we're being served that gives us the freedom from suffering.
We're all walking down our own little hallways. We're all singing our inner songs. And we're probably all a bit distracted and unsure of exactly where we should go. We know the way to our homeroom. We may not be sure about how to navigate the rainy Fridays along the way.
What I've got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I'm concerned, she's no longer the superpower she was.
I don't have to get it right, here, or anywhere. Somedays I'm angry about the divorce. Other days, I see how my ex-wife released me from her sphere of influence, and for this I am grateful.
As my divorce went down, in Texas, in 2010, my ex-wife got the typical family law package. The call it the SPO or standard possession order, and it specifies the…
In this day I release my ex-wife. I release my two lovely children from any frustration I have at not being able to book time on their busy teenager calendars. I release myself from my expectations of where I would be at this point in my adult life.
Go easy on yourself when you're not at your best. A lot of people are not at their best today. A lot of people never reach 110% velocity. Give thanks that you can get so high on life, and chill out when you fall below the uber-winning beast mode that makes you feel so excited.