I hope my words bring you some comfort no matter what darkness you or a loved one are experiencing. I can't be there for you. Only you can be your own savior.
I am not lost. I am sad. I am strong. And my sister used to tell me in her hippie-spiritual way, "Everything is in its right place."
You must give your partner the assurance that you are not running away. And you must also allow them to hold their own pain. By "staying in your own lane" you are giving them several strong messages.
Keeping sexual communication open throughout your relationship is critical. As one partner starts closing off, and not just having periods of low sexual desire, but shutting down the idea of sex, something is going to break down.
It is only by recovery that we stop the pattern of abuse, neglect, infidelity, and other love destroyers.
As single parents, dating, those choices now are much less dramatic. We can date, decide to continue or not continue dating, and that's it. No big breakup, no big divorce. Just "we're not dating anymore, maybe we can maintain a friendship."
You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.
As a long-term couple, we can align on our intentions and our schedules more easily than in an early or casual relationship.