We're all walking down our own little hallways. We're all singing our inner songs. And we're probably all a bit distracted and unsure of exactly where we should go. We know the way to our homeroom. We may not be sure about how to navigate the rainy Fridays along the way.
Know this: your father is out here, rooting for you with everything I've got. And if you need me, I will do almost anything to support you.
I have to let go of what I wanted the divorce to look like. I have to let go of the part of me that wanted to remain close as co-parents and celebrate our children's victories and rally around them in their discomforts. Today, I cannot do this.
My belief is moms and dads should agree that they will both ask for 50/50 custody in the case of a divorce. My agreement is more of a set of vows. I have not written a legally binding contract, like a pre-nuptial, that governs the money in the case of the divorce. I have written an agreement that governs the promise between the two parents to share the love and parenting of their children in a balanced way for the rest of their lives.
Always ask for what you need. Your partner cannot read your mind. And that angry look your giving them may not convey what you're hoping to convey. Talk about it. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Mom's don't deserve child support any more than dads do. Federal family law begs to differ, but I believe we should be equal parents across the board: time, money, and custodial rights.
I like to drive fast. This is a constant opportunity to tap into the irritating nature of the present moment. As I want to go fast (both in the car and in my life) I am always pushing up against the slower cars of the rapidly growing population of our fair city.
If we could balance out the misguided and harmful family court system in favor of a 50/50 cooperative parenting culture, we would have healthier kids. We would also see fewer wealthy bulldog divorce attorneys hawking their winning strategies. In a divorce, no one wins. But in divorce moms and dads should be considered equally.