If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
Divorce, once mentioned, is a slippery and difficult journey. As you pull apart the lives you’ve built together, there will be anger, resentment, frustration, and even joy, and ecstasy. But the divorce is hard on everyone. Listen for who needs support and then give your love and attention. Always.
POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)
- START HERE: Transformational Divorce
- Dear Custodial Parent: We Are All Still Together After Divorce
- Porcupine Mode: Expressing Dissatisfaction In Your Relationship
- In All Cases Be Kind, Unless You Can’t Then Be Assertive
- Reflecting On My Ex-wife’s Rage Nine Years After the Divorce She Wanted
- The Double-edged Sword of Divorce: Happier But Alone
- My Single Parent Slogan: Every Day At a Time
- Fathers and Daughters: Divorce Affects Us Differently
Divorce is one of the most disorienting events in my life. Everything was lost. I have made a point of trying to turn the bad points into positive information. I am here support you as best I can to lessen the impact on your children. Divorce is the beginning of a new journey. You can make it better for everyone by paying attention to what matters. Your anger at your ex needs to be handled on your own.
But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Here's to my kids. And here's to my wife who let me out of a miserable sexless marriage.
We are complex individuals with independent lives, building bridges and rope swings between our two countries, but we're reconnecting and recommitting in each moment, each day. We seek new ways around common disagreements, new ways to navigate old ghosts that can haunt us from previous relationships.
My work is to help women and single moms get strong, healthy, and confident enough to design the relationship of their dreams. It's not always easy. And, we know there are no shortcuts to doing the work on yourself that will put you in the right mindset to attract a kickass partner.
Let's get one thing straight, I am. not the victim of a divorce. I am a survivor of a divorce decree that follows the state guidelines and timelines and gives dads 30% of the time with their kids and 100% of the child support.
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
This father's day, I wish for family law to recognize the dad as equally important after divorce and start custody negotiations at 50/50 shared parenting.