When you are waiting for the other person to change (at any stage of a relationship or marriage) it might be time for you to move on.
Well, if I’m imagining this next relationship is the LAST ONE, well, that too has its own kind of pressure, that perhaps is just as debilitating as the rushing of the process.
BOTH partners need to be willing, have intentionality towards building a sustainable relationship, and then have the TIME to spend building the WE.
If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
We are complex individuals with independent lives, building bridges and rope swings between our two countries, but we're reconnecting and recommitting in each moment, each day. We seek new ways around common disagreements, new ways to navigate old ghosts that can haunt us from previous relationships.
My work is to help women and single moms get strong, healthy, and confident enough to design the relationship of their dreams. It's not always easy. And, we know there are no shortcuts to doing the work on yourself that will put you in the right mindset to attract a kickass partner.
So let's make a pact, in our next round of dating "work" I want to commit to pursuing only the clear YES women. Everything else is a distraction. If I am interested in a relationship, that's going to take time, patience, perspective, and the right YES woman.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.