I was having a hard time maintaining a healthy relationship with myself, why would I want to bring someone else into my fractured life? I answered my own frustration by shutting down all of my profiles.
We all come into relationships with our issues. Some of us have done a ton of work on getting our shit together. Some of us have not done as much…
We don't need our partners to turn into BLGs too. We need our partners to accept and appreciate our white-hot love and then find their own lover within. Our partners do have to return some of the love. Our partners do have to respond with loving feedback. And if we dial up the chemistry just right...
You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.
If we can rise above our present distress and the distractions of our disappointments, we can appreciate all the layers of the present moment. It's all cake. It may not all be delicious. But our attitude about the cake colors every one of our present moments. It's our attitude about the cake we're being served that gives us the freedom from suffering.
If I believe in a higher plan, if I want to navigate with star maps and not treasure maps, then I can be IN LOVE and AT PEACE even in this painful pause. The pain has a lesson for me. I may learn something new every morning and every evening. I am learning.
We cannot rescue another person. We should not try. We can stand beside them, or just outside the perimeter of their burning building, and let them know we are holding loving-kindness for them. It's painful, to be in the gap. But sometimes, it's just where we are.
Once you have decided to move on, you must understand that your former partner owes you nothing. Closure is a myth we like to "go for" in our breakups, but closure is up to us as individuals.