As our kids grow up, our past transgressions and lies will come back to haunt us. I don't think I've lied to them, other than the agreed upon lie (giving my wife the all-important cover) that the divorce was a mutual decision. It was not.
One of my kids is thrilled to stay in touch with me. We FaceTime most days. I offer them support and advice. My other kid only reaches out, or even responds to my texts, when they want money.
If you've got time ahead, and you're committed to the partnership, you have plenty of time to get the details right, if you stay on the path toward togetherness and building the "WE."
My process has continued to be one of mindful awareness, occasional medication, and a good care team of loving people around me.
When you're exploring a new love relationship make sure you understand your own patterns of attachment. Learn from your mistakes. Let go of your misses.
"I understand I have disappointed you. And that's okay. You are disappointed. Let's talk about what we're going to do next."
A MNDFL MFKR tries the path of peace until his peace or safety is threatened. Then, watch out. Time to unleash the MFKR.
What I've got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I'm concerned, she's no longer the superpower she was.