And each time I strive towards a lover and a lifetime partner, I open my heart in a new way with a new resolve to be the best partner and lover I can be. Until I find the woman who can push back completely into my love hurricane and match it with a tsunami of their own, I'm going to keep seeking.
If you work on your relationship by sharing what's good and bad and making critical adjustments, you're on your way towards building a lasting relationship. If you or your partner begin looking for emotionally intimate connections with people outside the relationship you need to look at what the problems and opportunities are.
As we become clearer in our boundaries, in what is good for us and what is not good for us, we can make choices more easily. When something doesn't feel good, we're able to say, "NO. This will not work for me."
What if I knew what I wanted and was unafraid to ask? How would that change my star map of seeking?
It's hard when you're on the receiving end of someone else's trigger. But we can get better at identifying our own triggers and triggered moments. And there are ways to help our partners notice when the rage or sadness that is coming out of them, might be a bit bigger or deeper than the infraction that caused the initial pain.
I'm going to play the online dating game for a limited amount of time. I know it's a distraction. Browsing profiles online is NOT DATING. Get out there. Get into your best life and look for others around you doing the same thing. If a conversation comes up with a person of interest on Bumble or Match.com, great, but I'm not counting on the dating apps and sites to do anything for my love life. Let's get out and do what we love. I'll meet you there.
I wish she had taken me or the kids into consideration before going full-force for the custodial divorce deal. It was not good for any of us, her included.
When anger is quick and easily resolved the issues don't stick around much. Try and process the little anger while it is happening. Try and take the BIG ANGER offline, out of the relationship for a moment, and come back with some ideas of how to do things differently.