BOTH partners need to be willing, have intentionality towards building a sustainable relationship, and then have the TIME to spend building the WE.
Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
I'd love to know the perfect advice for my two kids, heading into their new lives of college and eventually a career. Both seem well oriented towards their chosen professions.
A good father would've made a big difference in my life. As a father, I have always strived to be a good father, even when the decisions were not always what I wanted.
If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Here's to my kids. And here's to my wife who let me out of a miserable sexless marriage.
We are complex individuals with independent lives, building bridges and rope swings between our two countries, but we're reconnecting and recommitting in each moment, each day. We seek new ways around common disagreements, new ways to navigate old ghosts that can haunt us from previous relationships.
My work is to help women and single moms get strong, healthy, and confident enough to design the relationship of their dreams. It's not always easy. And, we know there are no shortcuts to doing the work on yourself that will put you in the right mindset to attract a kickass partner.