I like to say things like this. “My ex-wife did us all a favor by asking for the divorce.” And then I will often talk about how happy I am now, transformed by the divorce. And my kids seem to be happy and well-adjusted. And my ex… Well, I’ll stay out of her business and assessing her state of mind. But there’s a good bit of the story that is left out when I take this repose about my divorce. It was a good thing given the toxic circumstances of my crumbling marriage. So in that respect, yes, she did us all a favor. But let’s dig a bit deeper to see where things went foul.

The first fracture

• Divorce, Depression, and My Ex-wife: Humans of Divorce
• My Ex-Wife May Think I’m the Enemy, But She’s Misguided
• The Long Retelling of My Divorce
• Divorce, Depression, and the Puzzlement of My Ex-wife
• My Side of the Mountain – Understanding Depression
• Where Did Your Heart Go After We Got Married?

The first infidelity

• Stop Thinking: The Lost Art of Deep Listening
• Foundation Troubles in a Marriage
• The Crushing Impact of Emotional Infidelity on My Marriage (the off parent)

The second fracture

• Burning Down the House of Love and Hope
• The Long Retelling of My Divorce
• The Big Lies My Wife Told and Our Divorced Parenting Struggles

The final cut

• The Good Dad’s Divorce: Being Asked to Leave Everything Behind
• My Divorce: A Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory
• Are You Receiving Me? When Not Listening Turns Towards Divorce
• At the End of Sex and My Marriage

Yes, we’re all better now, but…

• Would You Damage Your Co-Parent’s Livelihood If You Could?
• Defining the Deadbeat Mom
• Divorce, Depression, and My Ex-wife: Humans of Divorce
• Deadbeat… < What’s the First Word That Came to Mind?
• Humans of Divorce: Why Child Support Should Be Cooperative
• Dear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did

Moving On

• What Do You Tell Your Kids About Divorce As They Grow Older?
• How a Balanced Divorce Would Have Better Served My Children
• Dear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did
• Putting Your Divorce in Context, For Yourself and the Kids
• Divorce, Kids, and Money
• Humans of Divorce: Why Child Support Should Be Cooperative
• We Do The Best We Can and Still We Fail: A Marriage Requiem

Hope for What’s Next

• Finding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce
• Positive Divorce: From Blame To Forgiveness
• Divorce Lessons: 8 Critical Choices In Making a Positive Split
• After Divorce w/ Kids: You Won’t Believe How Good It Can Get
• Discovering and Recovering Love w/ a New Partner
• We Do The Best We Can and Still We Fail: A Marriage Requiem

Always Love,

John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
Facebook  | Instagram | Pinterest |  @wholeparent

As a certified life coach, I’ve been helping men and women find fulfilling lives after divorce. If you’d like to chat for 30-minutes about your dating/relationship challenges, I always give the first session away for free. LEARN ABOUT COACHING WITH JOHN. There are no obligations to continue. But I get excited every time I talk to someone new. I can offer new perspectives and experiences from my post-divorce journey. Most of all, I can offer hope.

See more from The Positive Divorce section:

• The War on Divorcing Fathers: Deadbeat Dad Accusations Are Abusive
• My Single Parent Slogan: Every Day At a Time
• How Did I Miss So Much In My Marriage? Divorced, I Now Understand
• Defining the Deadbeat Mom
• The Fear of Divorce: Holding On When You Should Let Go
• Divorce, Depression, and My Ex-wife: Humans of Divorce
• Nine Years Into My Divorce: Finding My Single Parenting Superpower
• Father’s Day: Love Fiercely, Because This All Ends

Further Reading:

• Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
• Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
• A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
• The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
• Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
• The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue