“What if you found who you were seeking,
AND they were seeking you too?”
Today is gonna be a great day, and here’s why.
I am healthy. The cold front is supposed to arrive this afternoon, dropping our Texas heat and humidity into the Fall range we expect. Many of the dreams I have been working on for the last 11 years since my world was blown up by an unwanted divorce are now coming to fruition.
- My relationship with my daughter could not be better.
- My son and I are working on our connection through music, much more to come.
- My work is fulfilling and expanding.
- My health is very good. I could lose a few pounds and become even more aggressive on the tennis court, but I’m doing well.
- My spiritual life is well connected, both with community and prayer. “Thy will, not mine, be done.”
And the edge of the unknown is becoming less elusive. I’m still in the middle of the lake (SEE: Unknown) but I now have a better idea of what celebrations await on the North shore.
I haven’t begun swimming towards the goal yet, I’m pausing for a few more beats, but I have been given the glimpse of hope that I needed.
I am just now certain of my destination.
Waiting for Life to Begin Again
It’s been 11 years since my divorce, and while this post isn’t about that (last mention of it here), it has been a long haul to get my life pulled back into some semblance of happiness. I have been joyful and tearful throughout the process, but I have been striving to create a home, a sanctuary, and a relationship that has the potential to endure the coming apocalypse. (SEE: Seeking a Friend)
It’s important not to merely wait. The pause before setting out on a massive effort to grow (expand, love, change, evolve) is the perfect time to retool, reset your own priorities, and set your intentions for the future you are anticipating. Actively waiting, is the phrase, the i-ching hexagram that defines my life.
I Am Ready to Go
I am still in the “before all else” mode. Things are aligned. My aim is true, and my target swims just ahead of me towards a similar goal. I am being a bit obscure here, to protect the innocent and the friends on the opposite shore.
Letting go of old patterns and old connections is part of the work to be done in the “actively waiting” time. Setting goals lists. Praying for some illumination of the best way forward. Then, it’s time.
Take the Next Best Action
Once it’s time to move, you must set out with confidence and hope. Only a strong swimmer can make it to the hallowed shore and arrive with the necessary energy to maintain awareness amidst the chaos that awaits.
I have no illusions that this next phase of my life is going to be a breeze on easy street. It will be hard. It will ecstatic. It will challenge a lot of what I hold to be true. But all of my past imaginings, my musing, my lists, and my road maps of how my next relationship will be found or will progress towards nirvana, all of those things have already been torn up in the preliminary fires. I am letting go of my simple center alone, and I am asking to join with another person. Let’s begin.
Today is Today | Today is All There Is
Today I am alone and seeking my own comfort. I am moving inside to avoid the mosquitoes. I am happy and content. And my aloneness is a strength rather than a weakness or an ache. You see, I’m a master of longing and desire. But I want to be a master of loving. I want to be met on all levels, loved, and enhanced.
When it’s right the partnership exponentially multiplies the joy and energy you both bring to the equation. I could not have written these sentences a few weeks ago. It is only in the glow of this new potential life that brings my heart and heat to the level of YES I have been seeking. It is time to set out for the shore.
The glow, the honeymoon, the bright fire, cannot last forever. The trick is to establish
- Deep friendship connection
- Deep spiritual connection
and as you begin to move ahead into deeper levels of connection, allow the first two to guide your energies, your intentions, and your heart fire.
Where Soul Meets Body
Once the connection is established and reality-testing routines have been operating for a few weeks, it might be time to give in to the optimism that says YES to everything and anything. But without the first two connections, the third connection is premature and holds the potential to backfire.
Sex is a communion of sorts. With the proper connection and bond, sex becomes a spiritual experience. Until you’ve felt it, you may not know what I’m talking about. But here’s the secret I can share with you: connected sex is heavenly. Disconnected sex is known as fucking or casual sex. They are not the same thing at all. Once you’ve experienced connected sex with a committed partner, you will never settle for casual sex again. Sex is a drug, but it can also be an accelerant towards BIG LOVE, if you both feel the same spiritual connection to each other.
The Soul of Sex
Without the spiritual connection and the deep friendship, there is no path to connected (spiritual) sex. And I’ve learned in my life, and my experience dating and trying to find my ONE, that connected sex is the only path to fulfillment in a relationship. Start with friendship. Open to a spiritual relationship. Then let go and allow the beautiful excitement and energies to build between you.
When sex is right, you will know it. You will both know it. You will have a higher connection that is arrived at through time, love, and energy. There are no shortcuts to connected sex.
How I Can Help
I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call. For SEPT-OCT I’m offering a 1 HR introductory call rather than my usual 30-minutes.
I am also launching two coaching groups about dating and relationships in the coming weeks. One for men and one for women, facilitated with a dear friend and wellness/aging coach. Both groups will be limited to 8 participants. So join the FB groups and watch for the opening announcements. THANK YOU.
- Free Coaching Call (1 HR Special)
- Women’s Relationship Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- Men’s Relationship Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- General Whole Parent Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- Subscribe to our monthly email (easily unsubscribe system too)
- Self-Care and Appreciation: Can I Love All of Myself Right Now?
- 3 Required Traits for Building a Lasting Relationship
- Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success
- Pausing in the Gap: Trying to Force An Answer Is Not the Way
- 7 Habits of a Sizzling Sex Life: Relationship Building
- The 3-point Formula for Loving Relationships: Where You Lead I Follow
- The 6th Love Language: Distance – Jessica Wildfire
- The 5 Love Languages Gary Chapman
- Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone – Brené Brown
- **A General Theory of Love Thomas Lewis, M. D. et al.
- The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love Thomas Moore
- ** Care of the Soul Thomas Moore