You are completely loveable just as you are.
Right now. In this very moment.
I remember about three years ago when a friend texted me this. At first, I blew off the feelings of surprise and delight. Then I felt sad. Then I really tried to check-in with what I was feeling in response to that statement. Tears came to my eyes as I was walking around the neighborhood with my big feelings. But what was I feeling?
- You are completely lovable.
- Just as you are.
- Right now.
- At this very moment.
Okay, read those statements again. Breathe. And let’s savor and check-in on each one. Let’s see what’s behind our pain/joy/loneliness when we hear these amazing words of affirmation.
You Are Completely Loveable
I remember my gut reaction when this message woke up my phone at mile 3. “No way. No, I’m not.”
My knee jerk reaction to someone telling me how loveable I was was NO. Rejection. As I was walking, my senses and awareness were high, so as I kept walking I mulled the statement around in my mind and heart. About 5 minutes in, I was able to turn the NO into a MAYBE. I was willing to be curious about my friend’s statement about me. “If he sees me as loveable, maybe I am.”
Curiosity is the gateway to changing our unhealthy thoughts and feelings. By becoming curious about my lovability, I was able to open myself to the possibility that my friend’s statement was correct. I was beginning to imagine that I WAS loveable. It didn’t come right away. But the curious state was enough of a victory. If you can get curious you can begin to explore and understand more of what’s going on in your body, mind, and spirit.
Just As You Are
Nope. I didn’t buy this at all. I was a bit depressed. I was underemployed. I was living in a house with a woman who said she loved me but no longer wanted to be in a relationship (engaged) with me. How was I loveable in this disheveled state? In my heart, I was not loveable. I was in pretty good physical shape, I was as thin as I’d ever been in my adult life (thanks in part to the failing relationship to a runner) and I was seriously unhappy. I was seriously NOT IN LOVE WITH MYSELF. That “Just as you are” part of the statement was a choking point for me. I was curious about it, yes, but I was not able to turn it around into a positive belief for quite some time. Actually, to be honest about where I am right now, I am working on this one HERE AND NOW.
Right Now. At this Very Moment.
These are almost the same statement. There is a nuance in the variation. And the idea is we are trying to get our bodies and minds to listen to our affirmation in as many different ways possible. Sometimes I repeat these two phrases after the affirmation, over and over. I don’t always feel loveable. And I certainly struggle with staying in the moment with my self-love, self-affirmations, self-healing.
These two statements are declarations of our healing. We are setting our intentions to be stronger, happier, more self-loving. Right Now. At this Very Moment.
As I walked along that morning in the rising light of day. I started wrapping these phrases around my head and heart. I started repeating the entire set of phrases over and over as I walked up and down the hills. By the time I got back to my ex-fiance’s house, I was beginning to believe in my own loveablity.
My Wish for You
Hold yourself in the highest regard. When you try these affirmations, listen to what comes back from your own thoughts. If there are contradictions, be gentle with them. Be gentle with yourself. Over time, my hope is that you can walk through your day saying these statements to yourself as a sort of power mantra.
You. Are. So. Loveable. Right. Now.
Walk on into this day and know you are on an upward spiral. And in spirit, I am beside you. And I love you too.
As a certified life coach, I’ve been helping men and women find fulfilling relationships. If you’d like to chat for 30-minutes about your dating/relationship challenges, I always give the first 30-session away for free. LEARN ABOUT COACHING WITH JOHN. There are no obligations to continue. But I get excited every time I talk to someone new. I can offer new perspectives and experiences from my post-divorce dating journey. Most of all, I can offer hope.
Further reading related to this pause:
- Universe Says: FULL STOP
- Just Because You Feel It, Doesn’t Mean It’s There
- Imagine a Man
- Dating Boundaries After Divorce
- How Soon Do You Say, “I Love You” In a New Relationship?
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
- Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex–and How to Get It
- The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love
- Zen Sex: The Way of Making Love