You are completely loveable just as you are.
Right now. In this very moment.
I remember about three years ago when a friend texted me this. At first, I blew off the feelings of surprise and delight. Then I felt sad. Then I really tried to check-in with what I was feeling in response to that statement. Tears came to my eyes as I was walking around the neighborhood with my big feelings. But what was I feeling?
- You are completely lovable.
- Just as you are.
- Right now.
- At this very moment.
Okay, read those statements again. Breathe. And let’s savor and check-in on each one. Let’s see what’s behind our pain/joy/loneliness when we hear these amazing words of affirmation.
You Are Completely Loveable
I remember my gut reaction when this message woke up my phone at mile 3. “No way. No, I’m not.”
My knee jerk reaction to someone telling me how loveable I was was NO. Rejection. As I was walking, my senses and awareness were high, so as I kept walking I mulled the statement around in my mind and heart. About 5 minutes in, I was able to turn the NO into a MAYBE. I was willing to be curious about my friend’s statement about me. “If he sees me as loveable, maybe I am.”
Curiosity is the gateway to changing our unhealthy thoughts and feelings. By becoming curious about my lovability, I was able to open myself to the possibility that my friend’s statement was correct. I was beginning to imagine that I WAS loveable. It didn’t come right away. But the curious state was enough of a victory. If you can get curious you can begin to explore and understand more of what’s going on in your body, mind, and spirit.
Just As You Are
Nope. I didn’t buy this at all. I was a bit depressed. I was underemployed. I was living in a house with a woman who said she loved me but no longer wanted to be in a relationship (engaged) with me. How was I loveable in this disheveled state? In my heart, I was not loveable. I was in pretty good physical shape, I was as thin as I’d ever been in my adult life (thanks in part to the failing relationship to a runner) and I was seriously unhappy. I was seriously NOT IN LOVE WITH MYSELF. That “Just as you are” part of the statement was a choking point for me. I was curious about it, yes, but I was not able to turn it around into a positive belief for quite some time. Actually, to be honest about where I am right now, I am working on this one HERE AND NOW.
Right Now. At this Very Moment.
These are almost the same statement. There is a nuance in the variation. And the idea is we are trying to get our bodies and minds to listen to our affirmation in as many different ways possible. Sometimes I repeat these two phrases after the affirmation, over and over. I don’t always feel loveable. And I certainly struggle with staying in the moment with my self-love, self-affirmations, self-healing.
These two statements are declarations of our healing. We are setting our intentions to be stronger, happier, more self-loving. Right Now. At this Very Moment.
As I walked along that morning in the rising light of day. I started wrapping these phrases around my head and heart. I started repeating the entire set of phrases over and over as I walked up and down the hills. By the time I got back to my ex-fiance’s house, I was beginning to believe in my own loveablity.
My Wish for You
Hold yourself in the highest regard. When you try these affirmations, listen to what comes back from your own thoughts. If there are contradictions, be gentle with them. Be gentle with yourself. Over time, my hope is that you can walk through your day saying these statements to yourself as a sort of power mantra.
You. Are. So. Loveable. Right. Now.
Walk on into this day and know you are on an upward spiral. And in spirit, I am beside you. And I love you too.
How I Can Help
I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call. For SEPT-OCT I’m offering a 1 HR introductory call rather than my usual 30-minutes.
I am also launching two coaching groups about dating and relationships in the coming weeks. One for men and one for women, facilitated with a dear friend and wellness/aging coach. Both groups will be limited to 8 participants. So join the FB groups and watch for the opening announcements. THANK YOU.
- Free Coaching Call (1 HR Special)
- Women’s Relationship Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- Men’s Relationship Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- General Whole Parent Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- Subscribe to our monthly email (easily unsubscribe system too)
- Self-Care and Appreciation: Can I Love All of Myself Right Now?
- 3 Required Traits for Building a Lasting Relationship
- Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success
- Pausing in the Gap: Trying to Force An Answer Is Not the Way
- 7 Habits of a Sizzling Sex Life: Relationship Building
- The 3-point Formula for Loving Relationships: Where You Lead I Follow
- The 6th Love Language: Distance – Jessica Wildfire
- The 5 Love Languages Gary Chapman
- Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone – Brené Brown
- **A General Theory of Love Thomas Lewis, M. D. et al.
- The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love Thomas Moore
- ** Care of the Soul Thomas Moore