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Things Are Always Working Out for Me! (Affirming the YES)

We can tune into the positive vibes of the universe or we can worry and struggle by allowing fear and anxiety to run our monkey minds.

Let’s Start with the Yes

As things have heated up in my life over the last 10 weeks I am happy to report I have self-regulated my ascension and I am comfortably in the HAPPY ZONE. I don’t have much drama in my current situation (other than the drama I create for myself) and I’m trending very low on my anxiety list.

The trajectory today is entirely up to me.

While I would like to say I can achieve this steady state of affairs, it’s often not accessible due to stress, exhaustion, and misdirected energies. It is really up to me. But I can’t get there every single day. AND GUESS WHAT? That’s Okay.

enjoy it all

I’m Okay, You’re Okay

Low anxiety
High energy (but not too high)
Plentiful opportunities for growth and creative expression

What’s happening in my life has 100% to do with me and my attitude and my frequent altitude adjustments. I have so many “levers” during the day. I can move my energy UP with exercise, caffeine, and other activities. I can slow my rate of travel with things like a good meal, a nap, or a comforting conversation with a close friend.

What I cannot take care of is the lives and trajectories of those around me. Guess what? We’re all our own pilots. We can invite a co-pilot into the plane with us, but for the most part, our daily management of mood and energy is up to us as individuals. This is good to know. I HAVE TO LET GO OF EVERYONE AROUND ME. I cannot change their altitude or attitude. I can ask for what I need. I can set boundaries. I can offer ideas of encouragement and empathy. But in the long run, I cannot FIX anyone else. I cannot be their COACH.

If we agree, that we are right where we need to be in our lives, it becomes easier to let go of our expectations and overthinking our responsibility to others. We are responsible for our actions and our words and how the two match up. We are not responsible for the other person’s reactions or healing as they JOIN or UNJOIN our carnival of happiness.

The Carnival of Happiness Will Continue

Here I am. Happy. Content. Striving, but from a confident and serene place. While I am ambitious, I am mostly focused on my own appreciation for the process and progress. I am not working to become famous, loved, or thin. I am working on my own carnival of happiness. Each person in my life has their own carnival. And they are the ringmaster of the show. If that carnival is successful financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I can pull alongside another person’s carnival of happiness or misery, but I cannot redirect them. This is NOT MY JOB.

My carnival is often on the road towards some new goal, new aspiration, new project. Today, I am putting my horses out to pasture, I am setting up camp, and I am waiting in anticipation of the bright future that is unfolding around me. I do not have to work hard at getting it right. I do not have to SEEK so hard that I blow out people and projects with my energy and enthusiasm. I am learning to tame my inner bull.

My Bull In a China Closet

As I rush into a room, meeting, relationship, I am often described as a bull in a china closet. I have energy. I might have the tendency to not listen very well, and talk over and interrupt others. It must become aware of myself and my energy as I related to others. If I am a self-aware bull I can reorient my energy around the requirements and requests of the other person. I can slow my roll. It’s not easy but I can do it.

If the bull is aware he is in a china closet, he can take his time, and not make any sudden moves. He can see and acknowledge the pretty china and sparkly objects, but not grow attached or overly fascinated by them. As a bull, I have to remain vigilant about my energy and emotional impact on others. Sometimes I do this well. Other times, I blow right through someone, some client, some meeting. I shatter the pretty things around me. I have to leave the china closet of life and find my calm self again while roaming the pasture, looking for my center again. Alone in a field a bull is very content and safe. He may be lonely, but even that is a safer choice than being too rambunctious.

I Have To Choose Calm

As I learn to accept the wonderful things in my life, I am also learning to appreciate myself and my present moment just for NOW, and just for where I am. I am here now so that I can love fully and express my joy unfettered by the restraints of the bull in a china closet. I don’t like being in a china closet. I don’t like eggshells. I don’t like the containment required when I try to manage someone else’s carnival. I can’t do it. I get out of balance quickly when I try to overcompensate for someone else’s carnival trajectory.

Self-awareness is my primary tool for managing my own carnival. And if I can actually BELIEVE that

“Things Are Always Working Out for Me!”

I can manage my own carnival with holistic care and compassion. I need to be compassionate for others. But first, I have to understand and manage my compassion for myself and my role as the head of the carnival show. That’s the best I can do. And, this very moment, I’m doing okay.

Namasté,

John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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The Big Love Series (so far – in reverse chronological order)

How I Can Help

I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call. For SEPT-OCT I’m offering a 1 HR introductory call rather than my usual 30-minutes.

I am also launching two coaching groups about dating and relationships in the coming weeks. One for men and one for women, facilitated with a dear friend and wellness/aging coach. Both groups will be limited to 8 participants. So join the FB groups and watch for the opening announcements. THANK YOU.

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