Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.
I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.
Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.
When your Big Love awakens in you and your partner, it's as if all the other questions, all the other doubts, all the other relationships, begin to fall away. We are forever changed by the joy and energy awakened in us by the loving presence of our Big Love partner.
That's where love lives: in finding, holding, and building the flame of love in our hearts and in our partner's hearts every day of our lives together.
We stand alone is a relationship. But in a relationship, we also stand beside a spiritual partner, teacher, lover. In a relationship, we can transcend our isolation and truly feel loved.
"Taking a year to really work on me, and be happy with me..." As Richard rebuilt a house in the Zilker area of Austin, Texas, he was aware of how the house was a metaphor of his self-recovery process. "I worked on the entryway of me. And then I had to work on the inside. I need to open up space, and make space for somebody."
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would "tonight" look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me.
Come listen to an interesting conversation about masculinity, about relationships, about relationship capacity and emotional growth. Our conversation follows Mark from his experience as a man in a failing marriage, through his self-awareness process, and finally his homecoming in a long-term healthy relationship. We're going to talk about a lot of things, but at the heart is how we find and co-create a relationship with a partner.
The last two relationships, as painful as the endings were, and as devastating as the loneliness was as I confronted being alone again, both taught me valuable lessons. And this is not a silver lining strategy or rationalization.
Like a broken arm that heals stronger than before it was broken, what if your big love can come back with more resilience, more compassion, more flexibility when things go dark? That's the plan.