Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.

I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.

Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.

The Soft Return: How *Repair* Works in Relationships

If I believe in a higher plan, if I want to navigate with star maps and not treasure maps, then I can be IN LOVE and AT PEACE even in this painful pause. The pain has a lesson for me. I may learn something new every morning and every evening. I am learning.

Continue ReadingThe Soft Return: How *Repair* Works in Relationships

Patience, Mindfulness, and the Slow Road to a Healthy Relationship

My movie is undergoing a serious rewrite at the moment. Scenes are being deleted, edited, and new actors are being sought out for both lead and supporting roles. Today, on this amazingly beautiful day (from snow last night to tennis in shorts this afternoon) I'm going to loaf for a bit.

Continue ReadingPatience, Mindfulness, and the Slow Road to a Healthy Relationship

The Inner Life of Your Kid: Navigating Our Own Rainy Fridays

We're all walking down our own little hallways. We're all singing our inner songs. And we're probably all a bit distracted and unsure of exactly where we should go. We know the way to our homeroom. We may not be sure about how to navigate the rainy Fridays along the way.

Continue ReadingThe Inner Life of Your Kid: Navigating Our Own Rainy Fridays

The 5 Stages of Dating Again After Divorce: Letting Go of Expectations

I'm not all that good at dating yet. I mean, I don't really know how to BE. I try to be "myself" of course, but I'm too involved, too hyper, too talkative. I don't listen as well as I should. But the part of the problem, that I'm just beginning to understand, is my habit of projecting any "potential" relationship off into some imaginary future. What I mean is, I sometimes have a problem staying present.

Continue ReadingThe 5 Stages of Dating Again After Divorce: Letting Go of Expectations

How Does True Love Unfold? The Early Harbingers of YES

Only through adventuring together, only through giving it a 100% shot and not holding back, are we capable of discovering a partner who is willing and capable of going there with us.

Continue ReadingHow Does True Love Unfold? The Early Harbingers of YES

Can I Ever Be Loved Again? Recovering Hope After a Breakup

Finding and keeping love is about going to the well every single time. And when you find fire pouring accelerant on it by really, fully, and truly, asking for what you want. You must go for it to get it.

Continue ReadingCan I Ever Be Loved Again? Recovering Hope After a Breakup

Bad Daddy and the Delicious Breakfast Dilemma (A Single-Parent Fable)

Upstairs another door flew open and dapper son Badly Buzy Ben announced, "Breakfast? What's for breakfast?" as he stomped down the stairs. His hair was perfectly done and his suit looked freshly pressed. The blue tie matching and shining in concert with his pocket square.

Continue ReadingBad Daddy and the Delicious Breakfast Dilemma (A Single-Parent Fable)

How Faith and Courage Work Together in Love After Divorce

The rest is negotiation, navigation, and nurture. We've both got work ahead of us. We are always in a state of becoming. But today, I have my lifetime cheerleader beside me. And I'm always ready joyfully embrace her in all of her flaws and misdirections. We've all got them.

Continue ReadingHow Faith and Courage Work Together in Love After Divorce