The Company You Keep and Keeping Your Own Company

When my expectations are not met I experience disappointment.

I had a few disconnects this summer. None of them were tragic or overly dramatic, but they were misses nonetheless. When my expectations are not met I experience disappointment. That’s how disappointment works. When I set an expectation, either spoken or unspoken, with someone else, it is 100% up to me to either keep up my side of the agreement and ask if things are not going as planned. OR… Lean back a bit and let things happen naturally, without a lot of intervention or course correction from me.

Making Choices About How I Spend My Time

Here’s what a mentor of mine told me towards the end of the summer, “It is a choice they are making about how they want to spend their weekend. A choice to do something other than what you wanted them to do. Don’t make an issue of it now, but if it keeps happening, that will tell you something.”

Today, I made a choice to travel alone to the beach. To spend some time in my own company.

My plans

Nap
Walk on the beach
Swim
No alcohol
No ice cream
Eat breakfast somewhere new
Write
Savor the loneliness

In this moment of pause, I can reflect on my own unmet expectations. And today, I can meet one of my own. As the super-heated summer rolled on, I could not seem to make a beach trip happen. I asked. It did not happen. I asked again. Nada. I wrote a note. Still, my desire to dip my toes in the salty sand remained unfulfilled.

We Have To Fulfill Our Own Expectations

I can ask to be loved. I may not feel loved even when love is abundant and specific. I might still miss some aspect of being loved. I might not feel loved, even in the presence of love. And, I can want someone else to meet my needs for love and connection, while not doing a very good job of being clear about what I need. Today, I didn’t ask anyone. Today, I took care of my desire to go to the beach. September might not be summer, but it’s beachy enough for me and my inner smile.

I am alone. I am happy. I am loved.

Today, I am keeping my own company. And I am getting clearer about asking for exactly what I want and then making it happen.

Always Love,

John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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How I Can Help

I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in small groups as well as individual 1 x 1 zoom calls. If you have questions about life coaching I am happy to talk to you. Please schedule a phone call HERE.

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Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End