I had a few disconnects this summer. None of them were tragic or overly dramatic, but they were misses nonetheless. When my expectations are not met I experience disappointment. That’s how disappointment works. When I set an expectation, either spoken or unspoken, with someone else, it is 100% up to me to either keep up my side of the agreement and ask if things are not going as planned. OR… Lean back a bit and let things happen naturally, without a lot of intervention or course correction from me.

Making Choices About How I Spend My Time

Here’s what a mentor of mine told me towards the end of the summer, “It is a choice they are making about how they want to spend their weekend. A choice to do something other than what you wanted them to do. Don’t make an issue of it now, but if it keeps happening, that will tell you something.”

Today, I made a choice to travel alone to the beach. To spend some time in my own company.

My plans

• Nap
• Walk on the beach
• Swim
• No alcohol
• No ice cream
• Eat breakfast somewhere new
• Write
• Savor the loneliness

In this moment of pause, I can reflect on my own unmet expectations. And today, I can meet one of my own. As the super-heated summer rolled on, I could not seem to make a beach trip happen. I asked. It did not happen. I asked again. Nada. I wrote a note. Still, my desire to dip my toes in the salty sand remained unfulfilled.

We Have To Fulfill Our Own Expectations

I can ask to be loved. I may not feel loved even when love is abundant and specific. I might still miss some aspect of being loved. I might not feel loved, even in the presence of love. And, I can want someone else to meet my needs for love and connection, while not doing a very good job of being clear about what I need. Today, I didn’t ask anyone. Today, I took care of my desire to go to the beach. September might not be summer, but it’s beachy enough for me and my inner smile.

I am alone. I am happy. I am loved.

Today, I am keeping my own company. And I am getting clearer about asking for exactly what I want and then making it happen.

Always Love,

See more from The Whole Parent:

• Reaching a Moment of Peace and Happiness As a Single Dad
• She Can’t Contain My Sadness: She Can’t Contain My Happiness Either
• Heal Your Heart from the Fear and Loss by Opening with Vulnerability
• Self-Care and Appreciation: Can I Love All of Myself Right Now?
• Dad’s Divorce Journey: 9-years Later I Still Feel the Loss of Kid-time
• 3 Required Traits for Building a Lasting Relationship
• Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success