When my expectations are not met I experience disappointment.
I had a few disconnects this summer. None of them were tragic or overly dramatic, but they were misses nonetheless. When my expectations are not met I experience disappointment. That’s how disappointment works. When I set an expectation, either spoken or unspoken, with someone else, it is 100% up to me to either keep up my side of the agreement and ask if things are not going as planned. OR… Lean back a bit and let things happen naturally, without a lot of intervention or course correction from me.
Making Choices About How I Spend My Time
Here’s what a mentor of mine told me towards the end of the summer, “It is a choice they are making about how they want to spend their weekend. A choice to do something other than what you wanted them to do. Don’t make an issue of it now, but if it keeps happening, that will tell you something.”
Today, I made a choice to travel alone to the beach. To spend some time in my own company.
- Walk on the beach
- No alcohol
- No ice cream
- Eat breakfast somewhere new
- Savor the loneliness
In this moment of pause, I can reflect on my own unmet expectations. And today, I can meet one of my own. As the super-heated summer rolled on, I could not seem to make a beach trip happen. I asked. It did not happen. I asked again. Nada. I wrote a note. Still, my desire to dip my toes in the salty sand remained unfulfilled.
We Have To Fulfill Our Own Expectations
I can ask to be loved. I may not feel loved even when love is abundant and specific. I might still miss some aspect of being loved. I might not feel loved, even in the presence of love. And, I can want someone else to meet my needs for love and connection, while not doing a very good job of being clear about what I need. Today, I didn’t ask anyone. Today, I took care of my desire to go to the beach. September might not be summer, but it’s beachy enough for me and my inner smile.
I am alone. I am happy. I am loved.
Today, I am keeping my own company. And I am getting clearer about asking for exactly what I want and then making it happen.
How I Can Help
I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in small groups as well as individual 1 x 1 zoom calls. If you have questions about life coaching I am happy to talk to you. Please schedule a phone call HERE.
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See more from The Whole Parent:
- Reaching a Moment of Peace and Happiness As a Single Dad
- She Can’t Contain My Sadness: She Can’t Contain My Happiness Either
- Heal Your Heart from the Fear and Loss by Opening with Vulnerability
- Self-Care and Appreciation: Can I Love All of Myself Right Now?
- Dad’s Divorce Journey: 9-years Later I Still Feel the Loss of Kid-time
- 3 Required Traits for Building a Lasting Relationship
- Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success
Here are my books on Amazon:
- Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
- Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
- A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
- The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
- Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
- The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
- The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End