Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.
I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.
Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.
I'm a happy climber. And I'm in a relationship now with another happy climber. There's always going to be hills in life, and it is your attitude about your own work ahead that makes the difference.
The first time my current sweetheart crossed my path I was in no mood or frame of mind for anything beyond my own sad story. When we crossed paths the second time, she was well prepared with my trigger words and actions. And I was broadcasting on all channels my desire for a partner to step up and be enveloped in my madness.
It's all about the kids. If you've still got a beef with your ex you need to get over it. There's no point. You might have disagreements about stuff, but those should be handled with the same intensity as a convenience store clerk.
My dream in all those years of aloneness, in all the workout-cardio tennis classes, was to get myself in good enough shape to attract a woman and get her on the tennis court. BOOM. At that moment, even before we'd struck a single ball, I GOT IT. This is what I was missing.
I still want to get in better shape. I want my health to be an advantage in my older days. I want my kids to look up to me, and know that they are still several years from being able to beat me on the tennis court, or sprinting across any random field we come upon. I want my kids, but mainly myself, to be proud of me.
It's already sounding snarky to me, but I have to give thanks to the mother of my children for releasing me from a marriage that had grown unbalanced and unhappy.…
Stay focused in the present moment, but do allow yourself to dream and project into the future with your partner. Opening those doors of dreaming together has been a gateway of power for us.
And I can still recall twice in my life, the thrill of that moment when I realized my heart was spinning out of control and there was nothing I'd rather do than be with this other beautiful person. Whew! Only twice? Dang, that's inspiration enough.