Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.
I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.
Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.
As a single parent dating again, things have changed for me over the last eight years. I was so energetic about finding and consummating the relationship. Now, I'm more aware at how sex, and my drive for sex, color the texture and honesty in the relationship.
Share your bed, but keep your own bedroom. That way there is no blurring of the boundaries while you are still trying to figure out the basics of the relationship.
If we find ourselves walking along together, and continually renewing our intentions to get together again, maybe that's enough. I'm really ready for the "ready and centered" woman to show up.
I work with men and women who are looking to reset their priorities in life to align more with their long-term goals. What's keeping you from achieving your dreams? What parts of your life need attention?
Here's what I know. My ex-wife has nothing to do with my happiness or success. My positive approach to life is how I show up for my kids. They are watching us. They are learning from our actions. How we deal with hard times will inform and set their own internal compass for later in life as they run into challenges.
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
More love. Less unspoken and thus unfulfilled expectations. The only way to achieve satisfaction is to let your partner know what you want and then be flexible in how their answer unfolds.
Online dating is hard. And, I believe it's hard in different ways for men and women. Here's what I understand to be the state of dating in the world of apps and sites.