Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
What can you tell by waking up beside a new potential partner? Do you think early impressions, early connections/disconnections have an impact on the longer relationship potential?
These fun fathers really get me talking about dating again after divorce. Their show is funny, quirky, and you just might learn something.
I'm a serial monogamist because I'm hoping to find the next relationship at some point. And that point in the future is very flexible in terms of time, and even in terms of what the person or the relationship looks and feels like.
Get it or not, Tinder is booming. And my experience with two actual in-person meetings was surprisingly good. One hit and one miss. Unfortunately, the hit turned into a false positive, but that's also part of the game.
Being alone is one of the huge bummers of getting a divorce. If you're touch-centered, as I am, the lack of touch is deathly. Hugging hug piles of pillows when I go to bet simulates a lover, but does nothing to fulfill the warmth and closeness needs that many of us have. So what do you do when you're lonely?
I know myself "in a relationship" as a man who is satisfied and settled. I am no longer driven by the energetic part of the sex-brain that is hunting for attractive and available women. When I have a relationship to lean into I can settle down into my life's work that is about more important things.
Get yourself a map of the man you want to find. Imagine the man, imagine a man, imagine your man, and then do the work to get yourself in the best shape (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) of your life, so that when he shows up he will notice you.
My passion for coaching is to guiding single parents through the hardships of divorce, depression, recovery, addiction, and ultimately renewed belief in a future relationship. I can be your coach/wingman/confidant/cheerleader as you grow towards what you want in your life.