Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
Once you have decided to move on, you must understand that your former partner owes you nothing. Closure is a myth we like to "go for" in our breakups, but closure is up to us as individuals.
And what should be my mantra, SLOW DOWN. How, how, how to slow down? The universe sometimes has ways of pausing my plans and ambitions. So for this moment, I'll watch, listen, and learn. That's the hope, anyway.
I am shouting at the moon and telling the universe, "Here I am, fully awake and fully empowered. Show me a partner who can bring their empowered love to join with me."
My inner dialogue and my personal biographical story continue to be written even when I cannot share this night. My hope is that the gossamer connections between us will still carry enough energy and information to keep our souls interested in reconnecting and rejoining and that we both find the desire and time to make it happen.
We don't want to be alone, but it's better than spending a lot of time on a partnership that is one-sided. A relationship requires both partners to be equally committed to the journey.
I am excited and terrified about the transformation that will occur when SHE shows up. And yet I am pushing towards her, calling her in, writing love poems to "HER." I can only imagine... And for now, that's all I've got. And these maps, which I will gladly set alight in her flame.
When your partner's actions are AWAY from you rather than TOWARDS you, it is time to go.
We don't need our partners to turn into BLGs too. We need our partners to accept and appreciate our white-hot love and then find their own lover within. Our partners do have to return some of the love. Our partners do have to respond with loving feedback. And if we dial up the chemistry just right...