Dating Archives

Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Are You Trying To Recover From a Breakup? Not Ready To Move On?

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:August 29, 2021
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Dating Divorce Love Married Life Parenting relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex

Let's build better relationships as we pick up the pieces and move forward.

Have You Forgotten How To Love Yourself? Future Relationships

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 13, 2021
Post category:Dating Depression Divorce Health and Fitness humans of divorce Joy Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

And each time I strive towards a lover and a lifetime partner, I open my heart in a new way with a new resolve to be the best partner and lover I can be. Until I find the woman who can push back completely into my love hurricane and match it with a tsunami of their own, I'm going to keep seeking.

Is Someone Getting the Best of You?

making it through the storms in a relationship

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 12, 2021
Post category:Dating Depression Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Parenting relationship building Self-care Single-Dad

If you work on your relationship by sharing what's good and bad and making critical adjustments, you're on your way towards building a lasting relationship. If you or your partner begin looking for emotionally intimate connections with people outside the relationship you need to look at what the problems and opportunities are.

Dear Lover, I Want Everything Right Now

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 8, 2021
Post category:Dating Divorce Joy Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

I am learning to ask. I am learning to fall completely head-over-heels in love. Perhaps my choices have not all worked out, but they have all involved 100% effort on my part. And my love has soared to higher highs than I knew possible.

Online Dating Update: Breathe It All In, Love It All Out

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 7, 2021
Post category:Dating Health and Fitness Joy Love mindfulness relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

When you are involved in something vigorous, your attention and judgment are often heightened. You are more likely to get a true read on a partner while you are playing tennis, for example.

the day began perfectly : a poem

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 6, 2021
Post category:Dating Joy Love Poetry Relationships

i am alone happy thinking of a yoga pose or a girl

Cracking Open the Heart of the Sky and Feeling Happy

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 2, 2021
Post category:Dating Divorce Health and Fitness Joy Love mindfulness relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

You've got to keep going. Your partner is out there. You've got to stay true to your path, true to your goals and boundaries, and give each person the flexibility to show up in your life and be a YES.