single dad story

Parenting Well: We Are All Somewhat Childlike Acting Like Adults

I’d love to know the perfect advice for my two kids, heading into their new lives of college and eventually a career. Both seem well oriented towards their chosen professions. My son is a coder, he will do well after one more year of college. My daughter is a returning Sophomore and has her sights set clearly on nursing school. Their financial paths may be optimistic and positive, but I worry sometimes about the stress of EVERYTHING. As a parent, that’s what we do: worry a bit about the world we are leaving to our kids.

Quarterlife Crisis and Laterlife Crisis

In her new book, Quarterlife Crisis: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood, Ms. Byock has some ideas on how to encourage and support our emerging youth as they face the uphill climb into an adulthood of their own making. I found her advice would be well applied to me as well. I am heading towards my 60th birthday, and in a somewhat childlike fashion, I too need loving support, self-care, and a safe port in any storm where I can point my ship in times of crisis.

We’ve all been in a time of crisis now for several years. It has upended so many of the things we assumed were true about the world of work, relationships, and self. For myself, I wound up in a devastatingly toxic relationship that doubled down during the shutdown as we burrowed underground together as a little family of three. But the relationship was broken. I had broken up twice to try and evoke some necessary changes. My requests failed to budge the partnership into a healthier mode. As we emerged I found myself starting a new job and losing all patience with her ability to join with me. Walking away was hard, and put me into a bit of a Laterlife Crisis. These ideas from Ms. Byock might be helpful at any time in our lives.

  1. Take Yourself Seriously
  2. Be Patient
  3. Ask Yourself What’s Missing
  4. Channel Yoda
  5. Don’t Be Afraid to Make a Big Change
  6. Know When to Call Your Parents – And When to Call On Yourself

These are very good lessons. I can no longer call my parents in this realm, but I do feel my mom’s influence around me all the time. My dad, not so much, but I’m trying to strike up a conversation with him from time to time.


John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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*this post was originally written in Sept. 2013, it was updated in July 2022.

How I Can Help

I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call.

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Reference: How to Navigate a Quarterlife Crisis – NYTimes

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