I must be seeking the spotlight. In many ways this blogging thing, even blogging about sensitive and personal things, has become a natural expression of my life. Should I stop writing about dating because I am not dating? Will I be disappointed when the world does not embrace my new band and album of material? Am I seeking fame just to see if I can fill up some empty part of myself?
It may have sparks, fits, and restarts, but it will have a fire, the BIG LOVE FIRE that burns away all the past issues and traumas that need to be released.
It's not my will. It's not just my plans and actions. It's not my mindset. It's not my friends, family, or lovers.
Once the connection is established and reality-testing routines have been operating for a few weeks, it might be time to give in to the optimism that says YES to everything and anything.
Today, I can say, I'm content and ambitious at the same time. I'm creatively alive and vibrant, without too much focus on the outcome. I write, I sing, I pray, for my own pleasure and enjoyment.
Live some life together, out of the bedroom, and see how the relationship part of the partnership goes. It will become obvious if there are lifestyle or emotional differences. And when you keep the raging hormones at bay you can see this person without the rose-colored glasses.
The signal you are giving to your body and soul, is this, "I am worthy of being taken care of. I still love everyone else, but I need to put a few ME CYCLES in the mix.
Get out there, and get going. You're partner will be doing many of the same things. If it's meant to be, and you show up in full-power and full-glory, how can the two of you not see stars and generate a shower of sparks when you first meet?