Zen often offers lovely koans that make us feel good for a moment, enlightened for a nanosecond, and then drops us back into the awareness that "oh, it's a FB…
I am the one. She was not the one. There will be another one. Until I am again, the only one. Alone I stand, again. An adventurer of the heart and soul. "Let's Go!"
Be good to yourself. Love yourself and your partner (if you have one) as best you can. Gain mindfulness in all aspects of your life. And get into the FLOW of your life and of your relationship.
Your lover, your kids, your family, even your colleagues will notice the change as you get more of your own needs met: for alone time, for rest, for exercise, for walks alone, for recharging you. Then you can bring that love, energy, and joy back to your relationship and all the relationships in your life.
Alcohol is a bitch. It feels good. It feels relaxing. The physiological effects are not all good.
What ended up happening when I pushed on the broken parts of the relationship is she began to exit emotionally and avoid any opportunities to be alone, where we might have time to discuss what was going on. She took to falling asleep in the kid's beds rather than returning to me.
You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.
I do believe this is a spiritual journey we are all on. And I am here to join your tribe and help you reconnect with your authentic happiness and hopefulness.