In love and life: What would happen if you could relax and let go of your expectations and ambitions for a few minutes and just breathe in the acceptance of this part of being a human being rather than a human doing.
If I take the proverbial pause, I may find my own serenity is more important at this moment than finding someone to share my life with. Don't force the river. Allow life and love to surround me and relax in the moment of being with love.
The dragon, my depression, is with me. He's not going anywhere. And to fight him is to fight and destroy myself. So instead, I'm going to love and befriend this dragon.
So alcohol is a bit like sex. It clouds your judgment. It allows you to overlook some of the red flags that might be obvious if you were sober. In my plans, I want to meet my partner in a truthy place.
Say YES to all the things that give you joy. Invitations, even when you are not feeling all that great, say YES.
My carnival is happy. And I have to understand that other's carnivals are not my responsibility. Not now. Not ever.
In my current life, the big love is the cushion that's keeping me going. As I wander this dark wilderness of grief and loss, I have a firm and tight hand to hold on to. A partner who is exploring what's next with me. Rain and shine.
Today is the day. This is the moment. This post signals the last moment of denial. I am in charge of my own thinking, my own mood management, and my own path forward.