Love is the core skill and core need we all have. Many of us grew up in homes where love was conditional. If you behave this way I will love you. If you go against my wishes, I will exclude you from my love. This is not how love works. Love is universal energy, either you’re tapped into it and give it freely, or you are lacking in love.
What does it look like when you are happy? What are you doing? If your best case scenario involves continuing to do that (play tennis, in my case) then perhaps you need to look into participating more. The apps are okay for spreading your reach and resetting your ambition, but you need to be doing your dream first, then the right person might come along beside you on a bike ride and say, "Hello."
It is time to evaluate all of the relationships in your life and set boundaries and priorities with each of them. Some people will need to be removed.
She doesn't need to force me into a plan. And I don't need to buck against her plan or freak out when it hasn't been put forth. We are indeed already married in every way but two.
Today, you can stop fighting the monkeys in your mind. Today, you can befriend the entire circus. And as you gain mastery over the monkeys, turning your attention over and over again back towards the important goals in your life, guess what happens? You start making real progress.
What do you need to cut the tether attaching you to this bag of these BULLSHIT-LIES you keep telling yourself? Write them down. Identify the "little black bastards" pulling you down.
So let's aspire to good sex, but let's put our private parts on hold for a moment while we get some clarity on what an actual relationship might look like with this person. We can't spend more than 1% of our time together in bed.
Join your partner in all the ways you can. Time together doing things you both love is time together IN LOVE. That's how it works.
As a single parent dating again, things have changed for me over the last eight years. I was so energetic about finding and consummating the relationship. Now, I'm more aware at how sex, and my drive for sex, color the texture and honesty in the relationship.