Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.

I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.

Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.

What Is Sexual Chemistry? Mood? Desire? Compatibility? Body Heat?

Sexual chemistry is something that happens immediately when you meet someone in the real world for the first time. Not all sexual chemistry is a wildfire of "let's get it on." But most of the sexual tension and sexual awareness comes from recognizing your own desire, your own needs, and how you imagine this person fitting in and even pushing the envelope a bit.

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Learning from the Hits and Misses of My Last Relationship

Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.

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Dear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did

I don't think my ex-wife or my ex-girlfriend derived any positive benefits from attacking me. And perhaps, their momentary feeling of superiority and vindictiveness was worth the price. But both these women attacked me and took actions to hurt me and my future prospects.

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Count Me In: Timing in Love *IS* Critical

The timing for me is perfect for dating and learning to love again. Really love. Go deep with trust, with conscious connection, and absolutely enjoying our time together.

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Seeking a Friend for the End of the World: On Soulmates & Lovers

The final part of finding the love of your life, is to let go of all other relationships. Do not compromise in your love life. Any little miss in your present moment will become a roadblock in the future.

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Dating Next: Quit Swiping and Get Out There

What you DO with your partner is often as important as what you say to them, or what you like about their looks. What do you want to DO with your lover? Let’s start there.

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The Company You Keep and Keeping Your Own Company

I can ask to be loved. I may not feel loved even when love is abundant and specific. I might still miss some aspect of being loved. I might not feel loved, even in the presence of love. And, I can want someone else to meet my needs for love and connection, while not doing a very good job of being clear about what I need. Today, I didn't ask anyone. Today, I took care of my desire to go to the beach. September might not be summer, but it's beachy enough for me and my inner smile.

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