"Taking a year to really work on me, and be happy with me..." As Richard rebuilt a house in the Zilker area of Austin, Texas, he was aware of how the house was a metaphor of his self-recovery process. "I worked on the entryway of me. And then I had to work on the inside. I need to open up space, and make space for somebody."
Come listen to an interesting conversation about masculinity, about relationships, about relationship capacity and emotional growth. Our conversation follows Mark from his experience as a man in a failing marriage, through his self-awareness process, and finally his homecoming in a long-term healthy relationship. We're going to talk about a lot of things, but at the heart is how we find and co-create a relationship with a partner.
Keeping sexual communication open throughout your relationship is critical. As one partner starts closing off, and not just having periods of low sexual desire, but shutting down the idea of sex, something is going to break down.
Once you have decided to move on, you must understand that your former partner owes you nothing. Closure is a myth we like to "go for" in our breakups, but closure is up to us as individuals.
By sharing my pain about the divorce, my struggles with depression, and my adventure to become the best dad I can be, I believe I am giving others a chance to feel some of their pain and loss through my story. By living through it, by persevering, and by continuing to live on the positive side of life, I am giving my kids an example for our to live their lives.
The parents in Marriage Story tried. And when the mom is unable to read the things she loves about her husband, we see her hot flash of realization as she leaves the mediation without engaging in the process.
There was absolutely no reason for my ex-wife to file against me with the welfare connections system of the state of Texas. She did it specifically to hurt me financially, emotionally, and physically.
We're all walking down our own little hallways. We're all singing our inner songs. And we're probably all a bit distracted and unsure of exactly where we should go. We know the way to our homeroom. We may not be sure about how to navigate the rainy Fridays along the way.