Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
Divorce, once mentioned, is a slippery and difficult journey. As you pull apart the lives you’ve built together, there will be anger, resentment, frustration, and even joy, and ecstasy. But the divorce is hard on everyone. Listen for who needs support and then give your love and attention. Always.
POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)
- START HERE: Transformational Divorce
- Dear Custodial Parent: We Are All Still Together After Divorce
- Porcupine Mode: Expressing Dissatisfaction In Your Relationship
- In All Cases Be Kind, Unless You Can’t Then Be Assertive
- Reflecting On My Ex-wife’s Rage Nine Years After the Divorce She Wanted
- The Double-edged Sword of Divorce: Happier But Alone
- My Single Parent Slogan: Every Day At a Time
- Fathers and Daughters: Divorce Affects Us Differently
Divorce is one of the most disorienting events in my life. Everything was lost. I have made a point of trying to turn the bad points into positive information. I am here support you as best I can to lessen the impact on your children. Divorce is the beginning of a new journey. You can make it better for everyone by paying attention to what matters. Your anger at your ex needs to be handled on your own.
There's no good way to share that the holidays are a tough time for me. I will be looking after my own health and happiness much of this season, to assure that no meltdown occurs in my life. But I will also leave some of my bandwidth open for my kids.
When working through the details of our parenting plan, she played the "family law" trump card and let me know I would not be getting 50/50 parenting, because if she went to court she knew she would win exactly what she wanted.
I would have NEVER gone for more than the 50/50 shared parenting we agreed to when we began the collaborative divorce discussions.
Listen to your body. If you are feeling sad, check in with someone else. If you notice your overall vibe heading towards the black hole, take all necessary evasive actions.
The general mode of life with dad is positive and happy. I am *so* happy to have them on the days and nights I am afforded, that there is little room for complaints or nagging.
The silence and loneliness and grief brought me back to a deeper connection to my own soul. A deeper connection with myself. And that ever-elusive self-love.
Don't get caught up in nostalgia that doesn't inform or help you. When you find you're moping in the sadness of nostalgic regret, change the channel.