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Wealthy Single Mommy: A Brand that Builds Wealth Through Divorce

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No thank you.

I reached out blindly, before really examining this wealthysinglemommy (not linked by intention) and her tribe. I was responding to one post that caught my eye. Why Dads Don’t See Their Kids. While this article does a pretty good job of tempering the “deadbeat dad” content, it’s OBVIOUSLY only the mom’s side of the story. That’s where I thought, if Emma were open, that I would contribute a counterpoint to her article. Well, that didn’t go as planned.

As I look at her site WEALTHY *SINGLE* MOMMY I’d like to explore a few points that make me cringe a bit, as a positive single dad, not wealthy, yet diminished by the loss in my divorce. I am the opposite of this article which attracted me. I wanted to get into the conversation on this ‘mommy’ site.

Let’s start with the name of the site.

WEALTHY – okay, good for you. I suppose this is aspirational in nature. I’ve done well after my divorce, so can you. Okay, nice, a bit curious about where this “wealth” thread leads, but lets move on.

SINGLE – Okay, divorced and I suppose not dating, or not “in a relationship” at the moment. Or she would disclose that right? Let’s go to the last word.

MOMMY – Oh how the heartstrings of any divorcing, divorced, or considering divorce mom feels about being called mommy. Sorry, this one is gross. The title of the site would have been more clear if they just used the opening image of the site.

Here is the masthead of the site.

Hold it right there. I see a mommy. Well-placed photo. I see a trajectory encouraging women to DATE > to get to PARENT > to get to MAKE MONEY.

Holy crap. It looks like the entire platform of the site is to show women how to game the divorce system to get rich and reap the benefits of divorce in their particular home state, to maximize their wealth potential.

I’m guessing, but I haven’t read more than the initial article which I will respond to in a minute. And for the purposes of this article, I’ll skip my full takedown of this site. But, it starts with a BANG.

Why Dads Get Crushed In Divorce

My perspective is not just a counterpoint as I was imagining. My entire platform is AGAINST this website’s proposal. I want dads to have an equal share of time with the kids, an equal opportunity to become co-custodial parents and even negotiate a 50/50 divorce without forced child support. It’s not hard. It’s just not what happens in 80% of all divorces in the US. As a dad, if you don’t lawyer up and fight, you will get the Standard Possession Order (SPO) and THIRTY PERCENT of the time with your kids. Do the math. Moms get more than TWICE the time with their kids in typical divorces. I see Emma’s angle, but I don’t like it.

I also understand why Emma would not want to collaborate on ANY ARTICLES. She’s probably going to get her tribe to negate and target this article and blog, but I am not afraid of championing the EQUAL PARENTING platform.

Dads Are As Important As Moms

It’s science. Google it yourself. Families where the dad was given the ancillary role, do MUCH WORSE than families that go 50/50. Why? Moms cannot fulfill the male part of a growing child’s life. They can try. I write about that all the time. (Dear Single Mom…) I’m sure that one look at my site, and Ms. Wealthy Mommy said, “Oh fk no.”

I had a collaborative divorce. Upper-middle-class divorce. No huge assets. A house. A Prius that was paid for, an old BMW that needed repairs. And two amazing kids.

In this “collaborative” period of the divorce, the agreement was 50/50 all the way, with lawyers only involved at the end to write up the decree.

My wife changed her mind at the last moment and declined the 50/50 scheduling offers. She knew, she absolutely knew, that I would not lawyer up and fight. She also knew, was probably coached by her lawyer, to do the collab to get all the data and concessions she wanted, and then go for the gold.

My ex-wife is not wealthy because of our divorce. She did sell the family home for 1 million dollars a year ago, but hey… Wish I could’ve kept my equity in that one. Anyway, we move on.

  1. House
  2. Car – Paid for
  3. 70% of the kid time (2 weekends off a month to start dating again)
  4. Maximum child support payments.

The problem with this part of the law is, I also had to provide health care for both kids. When I had a job that added $300 or so, when I did not have a job with good health insurance, it added up to $800 a month. So, let’s do that math for you.

Okay, so adding health care, let’s see what I needed to make PER MONTH to support my ex-wife and my two kids.

And, for her part, she got the $2,300 direct into her checking account, TAX FREE. Oh, I do understand the math. And I see how my wife couldn’t pass up that windfall of money. That would cover the entire mortgage and health care. All she had to do was living expenses and kids’ stuff. Yes, for a bit, her lifestyle did go up. As she was able to buy as many new shoes as she wanted, without my intervention and questions. She got to do as she pleased.

Co-Parenting Is Either Cooperative Or Not

For the first few years, my ex-wife did include me in some of the school decisions and health care decisions. I had to fight the elementary school to add a second email and phone number to their daily alerts and parent-teacher invites. Unreal. Single dads really are second-class citizens at their kids schools. Here’s why: 90% of the staff are women, many of them moms. Dad is assumed to be the problem and why the marriage ended, regardless of what has been said. Dads cheat. Dads leave. Dads become deadbeat dads.

At some point, with the money flowing in, and her house covered, my ex-wife began to not include me in conversations of parenting. I’d learn from my daughter, “Hey, I was moved from AP English to regular English.” “Oh, why, honey?” Not being given a chance to be in this discussion is against the decree and parenting plan we both signed. She didn’t care. She knew I would not sue her. What would I be after?

So, my ex-wife stopped co-parenting with me. No matter what I did, she refused to include me.

Follow The Money In Divorce

If I read Mommy’s primary banner correctly, there is a strategy that is being championed and put forward as this: DATE, then have kids PARENT, then DIVORCE, and reap the benefits just as I have.

[This would’ve been a much different article had Emma decided she had first right of refusal, so, what was the risk.] I’m guessing she looked at my site, about equal and 50/50 parenting, and guess what, her entire website premise falls apart under a 50/50 shared parenting plan. In cooperative 50/50 divorce the money for health care and expenses is cooperative and not set or enforced by the Attorney General’s office.

If my ex-wife had chosen the path she agreed to at the BEGINNING of the DIVORCE PROCESS, we’d have had a very different co-parenting relationship. She chose the WEALTHYsingleMOMMY path.

“I deserve this. I am the better parent. It’s what the family law suggests. My lawyer says it’s a slam dunk. It’s better for me. It must be better for the kids.”

Except that’s the lie she has to maintain to this day. It was better for the kids.

Without Dads Kids Struggle

My positive outlook, my tenacious love, and my emotional intelligence would’ve been good for my kids. Today, both kids are extremely stoic. Like their mom, they struggle to FEEL emotions. In most cases this is part self-medication and part avoidance. To push down the guilt and shame, regardless of what the subject is, you have to drink, drug, or act out to avoid letting the heavy heart bog you down.

I’ll go back in a bit and write my rebuttal to the one article on Mommy’s site that I felt had a partially balanced, partially honest perspective. I don’t think I’ll read much more of her PROGRAM.

Dads are equal parents. Your kids need both mom and dad equally. Unless there are mitigating circumstances (violence, addiction, sexual abuse) moms should be given equal time to dads. Not over twice as much time. That’s not right. The court supports what’s easy and what generates the most revenue for the state.

That’s the last part of this charade. Texas, my state, gets paid by the Federal Government for every dollar they have in the Child Support Enforcement division. So, the more Texas gets dads to pay child support, the more money Texas has for everything else. Child support is 60% of the AG’s budget in Texas. So, my ex-wife threw me to the AG’s office about 3 years into the divorce. She wanted to hurt me even more than she did with the divorce switcheroo lie.

The Good News for Parents After Divorce

I work with a lot of couples. Trying to avoid divorce. Trying to negotiate divorce without lawyers’ fees. Trying to design fair and honest co-parenting plans. That’s what I do for my side hustle. I guess Emma has been able to build an empire around her LIE to support her “wealthy” lifestyle. Date > to get kids > to get divorced > grow more money. Heck, maybe get married a second time, have another kid and another divorce. Is that how this works?

Yeah, well fk that.

Here is the thread of information from Child Support In Texas

Note: On the About Emma Johnson page her list of recent articles confirms my suspicions.

1. Why your diamond ring is not worth as much.
2. how to tell if your gold jewelry is real.

Also of interest, Emma has another site that argues FOR SHARED PARENTING. Now, I’m confused. She plays both sides of the fence. Moms For Shared Parenting.

Always Love,

John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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