Dating

Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Training Wheels for the Newly Single: Go For Offline Dating

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:March 1, 2024
Post category:Dating Health and Fitness Love Relationships

Go offline and discover what you love. Show up there. Look around. Discover others who might have the same passions.

Black and White Thinking: Looking At the Darkness of Divorce

rage against the dying of the light - dall-e illustration

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 13, 2024
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Dating Depression Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Parenting self-awareness Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

It is only by recovery that we stop the pattern of abuse, neglect, infidelity, and other love destroyers.

Finding Peace at the Edge of the Unknown: Stoking Your Soul Fire

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 12, 2024
Post category:Anger Dating Depression Divorce Drinking Health and Fitness humans of divorce Joy Love mindfulness Money Parenting relationship building Relationships Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.

The Fragility of Intimacy: And Our Tiny Signals for Love

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 4, 2024
Post category:Dating mindfulness relationship building Relationships self-awareness Sex

As a long-term couple, we can align on our intentions and our schedules more easily than in an early or casual relationship.

Total System Failure: Rebooting My Life, Again

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:January 18, 2024
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Dating Depression Divorce Health and Fitness Joy Love Money Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

I was sad from Nov - Mar, but I was not clinically depressed. I was doing all the healthy things I could do to get my energy and spirit back on the right track in my life. And while I was not immediately joyous as a result of these efforts, I learned that by sticking with the program, my program of healthy and conscious living, I could have all the things I wanted in my life.