Dating Archives

Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Love and War: Learning to Fight Well and then Rejoin Well

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 7, 2023
Post category:Anger burn Dating relationship building Relationships self-awareness Self-care

If either participant becomes too overwhelmed (anger, sadness, hopelessness) it's time to take a break.

Life Is Emerging: Actively Waiting for What’s Next

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 5, 2023
Post category:Dating Divorce humans of divorce Joy Love mindfulness relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

Once the connection is established and reality-testing routines have been operating for a few weeks, it might be time to give in to the optimism that says YES to everything and anything.

Single Parent Dating: A Few Things Dads Want You to Know

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 5, 2023
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Depression Divorce Health and Fitness humans of divorce Love Parenting relationship building Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

As single parents, I believe, that my kids and my connection to them are more important (just for this short period of time) than my happiness or my new relationship.

The Positive Divorce – “happiness for all parties”

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:August 30, 2023
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Depression Divorce Married Life Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

How can we make divorce part of an evolution towards happiness for all parties involved? I have been writing about and coaching single parents for five years. (A single parent…

Relationships Questions: When You End Up Alone, Again

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:August 29, 2023
Post category:Dating Divorce Relationships Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

If I am happy alone, creating and aspiring with all the time available to me. Perhaps, I need to look for another creative person, who has similar creative impulses.

Why Is Online Dating So Hard?

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:August 23, 2023
Post category:Dating Health and Fitness Joy Love Relationships Self-care Sex

Perhaps imagining the right person is facilitated by online dating because we get to see how flexible and adaptive our sense of attraction is. But in reality, the real connections are walking right in front of us, we've just got to be better at saying "hello."

17 Simple Ways to Say “I Love You”

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:August 22, 2023
Post category:Dating Joy Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

It's the little things that signal to another person how much you care about them. Sure the big things are more important, but it's the little things that get you there.