Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
I'm officially adding the phone call as a precursor to every in-person date. I want to hear them and imagine them saying wonderful things. And then maybe they will. There is absolutely zero chance that they might be a fit if their vocal abilities are dull.
The orgasm is great, but in some aspects of making love, the orgasm is limiting my ability to spend that high quality and priceless moments in the embrace of my partner.
If you don't know what you're looking for it's going to be harder to find. AND, if you don't know what magic you bring to the experience, it's also going to be harder to dial in a real fit. Finally, pictures. You don't need glamour shots.
When I do get those few right swipes I imagine a "hello" date that goes well. That's just the beginning. What usually happens, in the case of the women I'm matching with here in NYC, is that certain threads become clear.
Perhaps today is a day of rest. A day of appreciating exactly where I am, sitting beside my girlfriend's dog writing a little note of appreciation to myself.
A woman's desire is different. Her needs are different as well. And if you can tune into what your woman needs, what warms her up, and what sets her on fire, you can apply the aphrodisiac of being present for her, and get more of your desires and fantasies met as well.
become the beloved
and you will call out the beloved
Even if our partners ask us to send lawyers, guns, and money, we need to stay on our own path and offer them an empathetic ear and a solid base of loving AND SILENT support.