The Modern Monk and His *Wisdom*
Memes are fun, but they probably won't improve your life as much as that new Skims outfit you're thirsting for after your 2-hour streak on TikTok.
Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
Memes are fun, but they probably won't improve your life as much as that new Skims outfit you're thirsting for after your 2-hour streak on TikTok.
Infidelity and "fuck you" are too close to my history for me to enjoy them as jokes.
I still love you. I miss you. And, most of all, I wish you well. I'll leave my warm fuzzies for someone else.
Let's evaluate each potential partnership in terms of emotional maturity and availability. Let's do better each time we start a relationship of loving ourselves in a way that says, "I'm the catch."
Online dating is okay if you're trying to maximize your potential reach. But don't spend Sunday afternoon browsing dating profiles hoping to find a partner who is likely to be at a yoga class on a Sunday morning. Go out there and live your life.
I am learning to love my HIGH self and my LOW self equally. It's a ninja mind trick, but I can do it.
100% Matches Only: If you settle at all, you will be disappointed. Eventually, we're all going to be disappointed in our partners. But this disappointment should not be about our connection or compatibility with the other person.
The thrill of getting to a second date... Well, don't blow it. Just be cool. Don't lead to fast or too far. Take your signals from your date. Listen intently for emotional intelligence. Are they telling stories about past relationships, or future ideas, or work, or working out?