Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Learning from the Hits and Misses of My Last Relationship

Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.

Continue ReadingLearning from the Hits and Misses of My Last Relationship

Dear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did

I don't think my ex-wife or my ex-girlfriend derived any positive benefits from attacking me. And perhaps, their momentary feeling of superiority and vindictiveness was worth the price. But both these women attacked me and took actions to hurt me and my future prospects.

Continue ReadingDear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did

Count Me In: Timing in Love *IS* Critical

The timing for me is perfect for dating and learning to love again. Really love. Go deep with trust, with conscious connection, and absolutely enjoying our time together.

Continue ReadingCount Me In: Timing in Love *IS* Critical

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World: On Soulmates & Lovers

The final part of finding the love of your life, is to let go of all other relationships. Do not compromise in your love life. Any little miss in your present moment will become a roadblock in the future.

Continue ReadingSeeking a Friend for the End of the World: On Soulmates & Lovers

Dating Next: Quit Swiping and Get Out There

What you DO with your partner is often as important as what you say to them, or what you like about their looks. What do you want to DO with your lover? Let’s start there.

Continue ReadingDating Next: Quit Swiping and Get Out There

Closer to the Edge: Fractures In Our Communication Skills

As we continue to go for a lifetime lover, we've got to be prepared to learn, study, grow, stretch, and reach back to our lovers for the REPAIR. Either partner can go for the repair. And both partners should work towards the repair, even if the bridge is collapsed in smoldering ruins.

Continue ReadingCloser to the Edge: Fractures In Our Communication Skills