Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Getting Good At Blameless Breakups: Online Dating Challenges

The goal is never to blame the other person for the breakup, even if they were the reason you are breaking up. Always take your responsibility for the miss. And make it about the chemistry, the mix, the overall relationship and not about them or their poor behavior. Remember, you are leaving the relationship, not trying to teach them a lesson or educate them.

Continue ReadingGetting Good At Blameless Breakups: Online Dating Challenges

You’re Not the Only One Who Doesn’t Want to Be Alone Tonight

What I really want is to find a partner who is able to express love and joy easily. And then, over time, I want to continuously fall in love with her, every day. I want to celebrate our victories. I want to soothe the difficulties. And I want to feel loved, above all else,

Continue ReadingYou’re Not the Only One Who Doesn’t Want to Be Alone Tonight

One Man’s Courage to Stand Alone: Brené Brown’s BRAVING

By allowing you to experience and process your own distress, without my interference, I am giving you the utmost respect. I am viewing you as whole, strong, and capable. And in my affirmation of you and your inherent ability to be strong and sufficient, I am reaffirming my belief in you.

Continue ReadingOne Man’s Courage to Stand Alone: Brené Brown’s BRAVING

Making Your Partner a Priority; Where Do You Want to Be?

If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.

Continue ReadingMaking Your Partner a Priority; Where Do You Want to Be?

A New Language of Sex: Embarking on the Learning Together

In this moment, I am complete. I have kissed, I have snuggled, I have had a cup of coffee and I am comfortably writing about my love while my love sleeps in my bed. This is a perfect moment.

Continue ReadingA New Language of Sex: Embarking on the Learning Together