Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
Returning to my life today, there are so many moving parts, so many hyper-good moving parts, that my entire body, soul, mind, is a bit out of balance. I've been taking aggressive action to reestablish my calm center. But I've been pouring gasoline on the flames even as I'm trying to breathe and "take it easy."
I must be seeking the spotlight. In many ways this blogging thing, even blogging about sensitive and personal things, has become a natural expression of my life. Should I stop writing about dating because I am not dating? Will I be disappointed when the world does not embrace my new band and album of material? Am I seeking fame just to see if I can fill up some empty part of myself?
It may have sparks, fits, and restarts, but it will have a fire, the BIG LOVE FIRE that burns away all the past issues and traumas that need to be released.
It's not my will. It's not just my plans and actions. It's not my mindset. It's not my friends, family, or lovers.
Today, I can say, I'm content and ambitious at the same time. I'm creatively alive and vibrant, without too much focus on the outcome. I write, I sing, I pray, for my own pleasure and enjoyment.
You are either moving towards your partner or you are heading away from them. As long as the pull is always towards togetherness, you've got a lifetime to map and explore the stars. Good luck. I hope to see you out there on the journey.
Live some life together, out of the bedroom, and see how the relationship part of the partnership goes. It will become obvious if there are lifestyle or emotional differences. And when you keep the raging hormones at bay you can see this person without the rose-colored glasses.
Get out there, and get going. You're partner will be doing many of the same things. If it's meant to be, and you show up in full-power and full-glory, how can the two of you not see stars and generate a shower of sparks when you first meet?