Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
I hope you meet a lot of nice people out there. But don't be fooled by their looks, their profile statements, or their fluent email banter. Go for the face-to-face meeting with as little hassle and energy as possible. If it becomes difficult to land the date, for whatever reason, move on. If they wanted to meet they would also be trying to make it happen, not giving excuses.
There are plenty of fit and fantastic-looking people using online dating. 99% of them will not give you the time of day. That's okay. You only need ONE YES to change your life.
Everything is great. My kids are great. My ex is great. And my, you are great too. I'm so happy. I'm the most positive person most of my friends have ever met. I just radiate this positive energy. "You can feel it, right?" Stand back from Mr. Yes.
If you can pause and consider the gap when you feel frustrated or impatient, you can tune in to your own feelings more accurately. And if you give your partner the opportunity to fill the gap you may learn something you didn't know, and something you couldn't have learned had you continued to be a gap crasher.
In this sacred life, we have a limited number of hours in our day. The same number of hours as every other being in our space-time continuum. By checking in with your intentions and actions on a regular basis you can begin adjusting your life towards the life you want.
What you do together is life. What you think about doing together is imagination. Bringing those to ideas together into all the things you like to do, anticipate doing in the near future, and aspire to do as part of your long-term goals... All of this is part of building and nurturing a relationship for the future.
The goal is never to blame the other person for the breakup, even if they were the reason you are breaking up. Always take your responsibility for the miss. And make it about the chemistry, the mix, the overall relationship and not about them or their poor behavior. Remember, you are leaving the relationship, not trying to teach them a lesson or educate them.
Your best photo causes me to say, "I want to be the one taking these photos of her, I want to be the one making her smile like that."