I can. I am. And I am learning to be better to myself. I'm good with others. I have compassion, empathy, and support for just about any struggle my friends or family are going through. But when I look at myself and my failures, I'm often harsh and shaming.
If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.
I don't have to get it right, here, or anywhere. Somedays I'm angry about the divorce. Other days, I see how my ex-wife released me from her sphere of influence, and for this I am grateful.
Divorce is painful enough. Let's all share the pain equally and stop putting dads in the straightjacket of the SPO and the typical child support agreement.
In this day I release my ex-wife. I release my two lovely children from any frustration I have at not being able to book time on their busy teenager calendars. I release myself from my expectations of where I would be at this point in my adult life.
My ex-wife is pressing me for money, not because she needs it, not because she thinks my son needs it, but because her brain is wired to think about money first, before all else.
Go easy on yourself when you're not at your best. A lot of people are not at their best today. A lot of people never reach 110% velocity. Give thanks that you can get so high on life, and chill out when you fall below the uber-winning beast mode that makes you feel so excited.
Namasté to my ex-wife and her husband. And congratulations, I guess you got what you wanted when you asked for a divorce. You won.