I did learn to love full-on in this marriage. I learned to put my whole soul into the project and come back with the joy of being a parent, and being in love, and being married. This total commitment is part of what blindsided me in the divorce.
Do my friendly offers for help, or extra carpool support, or running errands with them, make any difference in the timbre of her voice? Nope. She's not done with me, she's furious with me, still.
Alone, I am still somewhat of a hungry animal. I contemplate calling my recent ex more frequently than I'd like to imagine. It's a similar story to my previous relationship. Perhaps we can just get our physical needs met without worrying too much about the relationship or the future.
My daughter is now 15, and sure, as a single dad, we both experienced some growing pains. They were not fixed by "nesting" or going shopping together. I'm fighting to bring these lies to light.
I believed until the day she revealed that she had already consulted a lawyer, that I was fighting to SAVE MY MARRIAGE. I didn't know the other half of my marriage had already left.
Today, three years later, I am happy. Alone. But happy. And I won't pass judgment on her and the boyfriend who has given her strength and steadiness. My daughter likes him. That's enough for me.
Are you listening to your inner voice? What is it telling you? Are you in alignment with your higher purpose in life? Are you heading in the right direction, or are there things you need to change? How do you reset, refocus, and renew your inner creative life?
I can let go of my side of the problem, right now. And that's my healing. My ex-wife, she's got her own road ahead. I no longer have to take her inventory. I can let her sail her own boat without my input or dependence.