Some of my depression is sadness at the massive amounts of my kid's lives I'm missing. That's real and that's going to make me sad. I don't have to dwell on it, but when it comes up I feel it, acknowledge it and thank my heart for feeling so strongly.
Bless your co-parent just as they are. Let go of your expectations about co-parenting. Then parent as best you can. Release everyone, even yourself, from the expectations and dreams you had of a wonderful co-parenting relationship.
Two people agree to have kids and a huge shift happens in their lives and their future together. You are committing to a lifetime of connection with this person, even as you are agreeing to bring new dependants onto the planet. It's a massive transition, this becoming a parent. Deciding to divorce your co-parent is another huge shift.
In the spaces between relationships, we get to know ourselves again. As we all head towards the holidays, I'd like to remember to be more mindful of my energy and emotional state. Sure, still do the dishes if they need to be done, but don't sweat the small stuff. And some days, give yourself a break. It's okay to be alone. Being by yourself is one relationship we always need to cultivate.
Alone, I am still somewhat of a hungry animal. I contemplate calling my recent ex more frequently than I'd like to imagine. It's a similar story to my previous relationship. Perhaps we can just get our physical needs met without worrying too much about the relationship or the future.
Are you listening to your inner voice? What is it telling you? Are you in alignment with your higher purpose in life? Are you heading in the right direction, or are there things you need to change? How do you reset, refocus, and renew your inner creative life?
I am leaving my feelings alone by choice. I am seeing them as separate from who I am. My feelings are just a part of me. There are many other parts. When I am healthy, I can see the other parts of my life and focus my attention on something other than the feelings.
Love deeply. Live deeply. And when you lose someone, go on loving as deeply as you can. In the case of my brother, I will go on loving him as he becomes a spirit.