In the spaces between relationships, we get to know ourselves again.
It is a “rainy days and Mondays” kind of a day here. I’m feeling the feels. And aware of what is good in my life and what just is. Being alone is not my favorite Facebook status, but hey… It’s where I am.
There was nothing wrong with my first Bumble date, ever. She’d stated early in the conversation that our age difference might be an issue because we were in different places with our families. She was only five years older than me, but she had four kids and two grandkids. I’ve got two high school-aged kids. So, there was no pressure that this was a date, but it was a date anyway.
We met and exchanged stories for an hour. She was wonderful and charming and not exactly what I was hoping for in my next relationship. But my expectations of the meet were met. We discussed our histories, our ex-partners, and the challenges of co-parenting with someone who is angry or domineering. And she added, “I thought I was done with it until the grandkids came along. Now we have to have the same old conversations over again.”
And the wine was delicious as the wind blew her hair around with the coming cold front. We hugged and she asked me to send her the link to my music videos. Done. Be well, fellow dating sojourner.
This morning the rain and cold temperatures have me in a distinctly different mood. The humidity and mugginess of the lingering summer has given way to a weeklong cold front of rain and temperatures not rising above sixty degrees. Whew, that was quick. And the coming rain and longpants weather has got me thinking of staying in today, rather than heading out to collaborate with my music producer. It’s this kind of morning that has me wanting to crawl back in bed. With someone. That’s the big miss. Or the big “ah-ha.”
In the spaces between relationships, we get to know ourselves again. As we all head towards the holidays, I’d like to remember to be more mindful of my energy and emotional state. Sure, still do the dishes if they need to be done, but don’t sweat the small stuff. And some days, give yourself a break. It’s okay to be alone. Being by yourself is one relationship we always need to cultivate.
Sure, going on a date last night was exciting. But I wasn’t really aspiring towards anything in particular when I hit the wine bar. I would have to say, the glass of pinot was nice as we talked of alcoholics and past traumas in our lives. We were friends not dates.
Thank you for last night.
And thank me, for today. I’m taking a rain day.
As a certified life coach, I’ve been helping men and women find fulfilling relationships. If you’d like to chat for 30-minutes about your dating/relationship challenges, I always give the first 30-session away for free. LEARN ABOUT COACHING WITH JOHN. There are no obligations to continue. But I get excited every time I talk to someone new. I can offer new perspectives and experiences from my post-divorce dating journey. Most of all, I can offer hope.
Get the complete single dad story with John’s new book: Single Dad Seeks (available in all formats)
back to Dating After Divorce
- Planning for Drama-free Holidays as a Single Parent
- Getting Good At Blameless Breakups
- Giving Your Co-parent a Break
- Loss of the Proximity Effect as a Divorced Dad