Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.
I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.
Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.
I'm officially adding the phone call as a precursor to every in-person date. I want to hear them and imagine them saying wonderful things. And then maybe they will. There is absolutely zero chance that they might be a fit if their vocal abilities are dull.
The orgasm is great, but in some aspects of making love, the orgasm is limiting my ability to spend that high quality and priceless moments in the embrace of my partner.
Perhaps today is a day of rest. A day of appreciating exactly where I am, sitting beside my girlfriend's dog writing a little note of appreciation to myself.
Dating is simple. Relationships are hard work. Well, they can be hard work, or they can be temporarily effortless. I think that's what we're imagining when we jump back into the dating pool again. We remember the highs of love crushes, the sex, the joy, the "hi, I am soooo glad to see you" feelings that are bantered back and forth when you are establishing a new love relationship.
Is your dating profile authentic? Are there parts of your presentation that need work? Are you asking for the right things in your future partner? And if these things are good, how are we going to filter through the chaff and find each other, online?
Without a solid self-awareness and a good road map of what you're looking for in a relationship, you might begin to feel dating (or online dating) is crap. That might be the case, but it's also a reality that tons of people move on from bad relationships, and find healthy relationships all the time. It takes work.
I'm almost always hopeful and joyous about this new journey. As a single dad, I have more time and more complications than when I was married. And if we can find the balance of these three traits between us, perhaps we can build "what's next" together.
