The divorce statistics in America are staggering. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Here are some numbers to consider.
Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
In some twisted way, my ex-wife assumed that she was the better parent and thus more entitled to the child support, the house, and the kids' care and feeding. As a good dad, this was just her assumption. Today, her assumption wound probably be supported by state family law. But, I believe times are changing.
Please consider this fact: dads and moms are equally important in a child's life. Yes, there are exceptions. And these days those exceptions cut both ways. So when you are considering divorce and thinking of "going for it" because having more time with your kids would feel good to you, please consider the kids over and above your own needs. Our kids need both of us.
I like to be on top of the world, as most of us do, but I haven't done very well in the past when I sink into "maintenance mode" rather than aspirational mode. What I learned from my last stumble is that I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.
How do you reconcile being removed from the typical family Christmas? How do you deal with the 22 days a month that you have little or no contact with your children? How do you afford ANY Christmas presents when you're struggling to buy gas?
If your kids are old enough, talk to them about how they would like to do Christmas within the schedule you and the other parent have determined. Over time, it does get better. But while things are fresh and hard, make sure you take care of yourself first.
I'll stay out of her business and assessing her state of mind. But there's a good bit of the story that is left out when I take this repose about my divorce. It was a good thing given the toxic circumstances of my crumbling marriage. So in that respect, yes, she did us all a favor. But let's dig a bit deeper to see where things went foul.
I am pro-mom, but I'm more pro-family. If we agree to have kids it's 50/50 forever. Anything less, and I would not have agreed to have kids in the first place.